Bitter sweet life
What I have found to be very challenging being on this race is the fact that every month I walk into a new country, with new expectations, new challenges, new blessings, new culture, and new people. The hardest of these to walk into and walk away from is new people. Though the countries are beautiful, the culture experience is great, the challenges are conquered in the end, and the blessings are wonderful, it is the building of relationships and leaving those relationships behind that breaks my heart.
Every month there is always at least one person we all connect with so deeply. Some of these people are babies, some are children, some are teens, some are adults, some are elderly and each relationship looks different. I've met so many people that I've learned from, poured into, held, laughed with, cried with, fed, etc. and the stark reality is I will probably never see them again unless the lord says otherwise. The thought of this lingers night and day and I always have to pray that the lord would silence my thoughts.
Lord what if my friend Gift in Swaziland is sold to the king becuase he wants her for his sexual pleasure.
Lord what if Gibson, alpheus, and Gina my friends in south Africa grow up to be boys who practice witchcraft and begin to involve themselves in demonic activity.
Lord what if my friend Rose in china never hears the gospel because the one moment I wanted to share with her they kicked me out of the school.
Lord what if my friend Ricki in the Philippines falls back into hanging with the wrong crowd and living a life that will end in death.
These are the type of things that I often wonder but what am I that I can save and sustain a man. For it is the almighty lord who is protector, provider, watchman, and Shepard over his children.
My list could go on and on and I'm only on month 5! I am realizing that this isn't for the faint heart but it is for those who can love children with a love they've never felt. It is for those who can give to the poor something they've never had. It for those who can bring to the lost the best news they've ever heard. It is for those who can serve a ministry with the best service they've ever experienced. Its is for those who are weak and knows what it means to be dependent on the Lord. The weak are not faint heart, but rather they are strong because every weakness is sovereignly designed to bring us back to Christ and Christ alone, for it is his strength that is manifested mightily when we are weak.
The truth is that it will be tiresome, wearisome, joyful, happy, sad, this will make you smile, laugh, cry, this will cause you to learn, see, and experience many things that you wouldn't on a day to day basis. At the end of the day life is just different. It is bitter sweet!
