Examination! Yes this month was full of examining the depths of my heart laying bare hidden sin, hidden emotions, hidden flaws, and hidden burdens. Sometimes exposing all of these things can hit me like a ton of bricks but Christ does it so beautifully. Often times I have found myself asking God to show himself strong and be faithful in handling certain situations and I forget that sometimes the way he handles certain situations is by exposing me.
I found myself this month distancing myself because of disagreements on the word of God and ungodly emotions. There was a wall up! A wall that hindered me from looking at another perspective, a wall that made me arrogant, a wall that I hid the love of God behind, a wall that made me lack compassion, a wall that allowed no grace. This wall was tall and rock hard and at times I really felt like giving up. Giving up because I wanted so desperately for this wall to crumble and it wasn't happening. I thank God for his reminder for me to "Wrestle". Wrestle with the one who holds the power to break every chain and crush every stronghold. I was reminded when Jacob wrestled with God and wouldn't let go until God manifested himself on Jacobs behalf. Surely God was faithful in showing up causing Jacob to never be the same. Likewise, he came on my behalf showing up in unexpected but wise ways causing me to never be the same.
My passion for christ has given me a passion for his word, and my passion for his word has increased my passion to know him and I can never separate him, his spirit, and his word. As John tells us in the beginning was the word, the word was with God and the word was God. As Paul tells us to pick up the sword of the spirit which is the word that is living and sharper than a double edged sword. In the end all of this is Christ! I truly honor and value the word of God and as scripture tells us to contend for the faith, I must always examine all things with the word of God. But if ever find myself acting out of the character of Christ because some of us have a difference of opinion on rib issues, then there is no room for me to be disciple.
