All I can do is look at her and pray. She was sitting for the majority of our time together, but then she just started chewing her hand and hitting her head. I don’t know what to do to help her. I don’t know what to do with a blind girl with autism. I’m not a therapist or teacher of any sort. I’m out of my comfort zone, but not completely.
This story really begins 30 years ago…
My sister was born with complications during birth thus making her mentally disabled. In a way, I’ve always had a younger sister even though I’m the baby of the family. People sometimes ask what it’s like to grow up with someone who has a mental handicap and I never know how to answer. It’s my normal.
I’ve never had a specific love for those with special needs or disabilities and, actually, I would walk away purposefully from any situation. I don’t know why exactly, but it could be the fact that I know what it’s like to live with someone with disabilities.
Growing up my sister and I had our disagreements, a lot. I fought more with her than my other sister. But what we fought about was ridiculous, minuscule stuff. I didn’t love her like I should have. I never tried to understand her. She would hit me and, like the little sister I am, I would hit her right back. I didn’t try to help her learn. I never put effort in.
I don’t know what life is like without a mentally disabled person.
Ministry at Sarah’s Covenant Homes, orphanages for disabled children of all ages and disabilities, has given me the opportunity to have a redo of sorts. My God is redeeming God and that is exactly what He is doing, redeeming my relationship with my sister.
So I find myself trying more. I spend as much time as I can with the girls at Grace House because I know they can learn. I spend my free time at Faith House because I know they can grow. They all just want love and attention.
I have fallen in love with the blind monkey girl with autism, the girl with cerebral palsy whose smile melts my heart, the deaf boy with cerebral palsy who drools, the blind girl with autism, and all the children I pass in the halls everyday.
I have fallen in love with Jasmine, Dinah, Nolan, Amy, Lily, Molly, Jodi, and on and on they go. There is something about each child that draws me closer to them.
I have fallen in love with the children most of India doesn’t think is worthy. I have fallen in love with the snotty nose, drool dripping, dirty diaper, out of control children. I have fallen in love with some of the most disgusting children in India and it doesn’t bother me in the least. I have fallen in love and each day that passes I keep falling.
Where the people of India see unworthy, I have seen these children the way God sees them. I see each opportunity they have in their lives. I see the progress each day and week. I see them light up when I enter a room. I see them with the most joy when their foster moms hug them ever so tightly.
This is a love that I never would have felt had it not been for my sister. I thank God each day for her disabilities and the lessons I learn from her.
