I’ve had some pretty difficult goodbyes in my life, but saying goodbye to the orphans in Latacunga who have my heart…that was crushing. I knew before coming on the Race that short-term missions come with this damaging downfall: you love and then you leave. However, it’s one thing to know it and another to actually experience it. Loving and leaving hurts both them and me. There were two instances in the goodbye process that broke my heart into a million pieces. Here they are:
It was our last day of ministry and we were going to say goodbye and be off the next morning. I was taking this girl for a walk around the balcony one last time (unfortunately I can’t give their names)
She’s 19 and has cerebral palsy. She cannot move her arms or legs and cannot speak. I was enjoying the walk as it was a sunny, beautiful afternoon and she kept looking up at me and smiling. Then suddenly I was hit with this thought, “People are always leaving her.” We got to read the kids’ files one day and it said in hers that her mom gave her up and would visit her sometimes, but in recent years has stopped coming. Because she is over the age of 16, by Ecuadorian law, she cannot be adopted and will live the rest of her life in the orphanage. She will live through many volunteers who come and leave and she will live through many Tias (the women who work there). This realization tore me up. My Spanish isn’t the best, but I think I got the point I wanted to make across to her by saying, “Yo te amo. Christo te ama y esta contigo por siempre y nunca salida” (I love you. Christ loves you and is with you always and will never leave). I hope that this is a truth she understands and believes.
The other moment that made leaving more difficult was with this girl (pictured with my teammate Christina)
She is 12 and also has cerebral palsy. She cannot walk or talk and has little use with her hands. She is very smart, has a lot of sass, and is very obviously aware of what’s going on around her (she IS available for adoption…just saying). We came into the room Thursday morning only to say goodbye to all the kids. When we walked in, I saw her face light up and she became very happy to see us. Then we started hugging them and saying goodbye. I saw the smile on her face slowly fade as she realized what was happening. Seeing the smile leave her face was like a knife to my heart.
Don’t get me wrong; I wouldn’t trade that time I spent with them for anything. This has been my favorite month so far on the World Race. I feel so blessed to have had the privilege to be a part of their lives, even if only for 25 days. I will never forget them and will remember them in my prayers, always.
