Written on 2/16 in Covent Garden, London
As I write this, I’m sitting in a cafe in one of the most posh parts of London having a cup of tea next to a giant window. On the same street, celebrities are arriving to walk the red carpet into the BAFTA Awards (the British equivalent of the Academy Awards). It’s all very exciting and the film nerd in me flips out at the thought of that many creative people in one place.
Outside the cafe…so sparkly!
Sipping on my tea, I see a couple of freezing-looking men in bowties frantically cross the street (likely from LA – we weren’t built for any weather above or below 70f) and pop into the cafe for some coffee. Of course I eavesdrop on their conversation, which centers around Phillip Seymour Hoffman. He was apparently invited to attend the award ceremony. For those who aren’t film nerds, Phillip Seymour Hoffman is this guy:
Tragically, this extremely-talented, award-winning, well-loved actor recently died alone in his bathroom of a heroin overdose. My first thought was of how sad it was that he was missing this awesomely British award show, but then I thought of how tragic it was that not even fame, wealth and world admiration could fulfill him.
My brain tends to explain things to me in pictures so, as I sipped my tea and watched sharply dressed industry people rush to the BAFTAs, I pictured Mr. Hoffman (who could be anybody, really) running around and physically trying to putty the gaps in his heart with everything around him. It’s probably a lonely place to be when you’ve got all the heart-putty that the world has to offer at your disposal only to find that it’s still got a gap in it.
We’ve all got gaps in our hearts. That nagging, somewhat painful knowing that something is missing. And we all try to fill it, to distract ourselves from its existence. For some it’s something obvious like drugs, alcohol, or food, but for others it can be Netflix or academics or church. It can be boyfriends, girlfriends, collecting Facebook friends, work, play, and anything inbetween.
My personal favorite ineffective temporary putty
As I got on the Underground to meet my friend at her flat and to tell her that I almost got run over by a celebrity on the way to the BAFTAs (true story) and while pondering this idea of Phillip Seymour Hoffman, I noticed a sign on the floor (and on the floor of nearly every tube station in London):
And I laughed. Such a simple message, but an effective one. A reminder to pay attention to the gap, so that you don’t trip and get injured. Awareness is key. The same can be said about the gap in our hearts. Acknowledging it instead of trying to ignore it and fill it with junk is the first step. Mind the Gap. Be careful or you’ll get hurt.
In my life there is truly only one thing that has completely fulfilled me- that has ebbed the painful longing and given, sometimes just for a moment, total and complete peace and fullness of heart. And it’s not Netflix, no matter how hard I tried to find it there.
Hint: it centers around this Guy
However, I’m still here on earth and living in a world that has things like murder, genocide, and national focus on the drug habits of Justin Bieber instead of home in Heaven with the only Carpenter who specializes in filling the gap of the heart. So, from time to time (and sometimes time to time to time) I can feel the pain of the gap and attempt to fill it.
The Gap is the problem. Our vices are our attempt at a solution. In the end, they can hurt us. We need to be mindful.
So the next time I have a flare up of gap-itis and find myself scrolling on Facebook as I whip through 11 hours of my Netflix queue, I pray that the Lord will send me a reminder: Mind the Gap, Rachael. Mind the Gap.
Cheers to you as you go about minding yours as well.
Sent from my iPhone
