God first. Others second. I’m third.
A phrase taught to me at a Christian summer camp nearly 15 years ago. But tonight as I lie in my bed (read sleeping pad on the floor) in the middle of a village in Cambodia, it’s finally beginning to click what it looks like to truly walk out that phrase in everyday life.
Our God created us to be relational beings. He desires a relationship with us and we in turn desire relationships with others.
If I’ve learned one thing from the World Race, it’s that I had no clue what a truly healthy relationship looked like before. I’m learning that healthy relationships are hard work. They take dedication, time, resources and most of all, vulnerability. All the things that I want to keep labeled “mine”.
But again, the World Race has taught me that healthy relationships are life giving and WELL worth the time and effort put into them.
Lately God has been talking to me about boundaries. What they are and how they help create these healthy relationships.
See, life is made up of circles of trust. And we hold the power to determine who enters which trust circle. This power comes in the form of boundaries. Boundaries come into play when we desire a person to either come closer into our trust circle or back further away. It’s our responsibility to prioritize these relationships and determine who deserves access to our inner circle.
It’s important that at the center of our trust circle is Christ and Christ alone. There isn’t room for our best friend or spouse or roommate. It has to be a space dedicated completely to Christ. And we have to protect this space. That may look like telling a close friend that you can’t hang out because you have previously set aside that time as your time with the Lord.
So what I’ve realized is that telling someone I’m third, looks like saying God is first. Everything we do should point back to Christ. And that includes furthering our relationships with others. In order to put others before yourself, sometimes that can look like putting yourself before others.
Let me explain. A *book I recently read explained that we all have a garden to tend. We are in charge of making sure this garden gets what it needs in order to flourish. When the garden is flourishing, we are able to share the fruits of our labor with others. And they in turn can hopefully share from their flourishing garden. But if we leave our garden unattended and forget to tend to our needs, the garden wilts and we are left with nothing to share.
So how do we get a flourishing garden? By putting God first. Because by putting God first it becomes natural to put others second while thinking of ourselves last.
*keep your love on – a fantastic book I recommend to everyone!
