The truth is I am insecure in some areas. Despite my stature or appearance
of confidence I am just a girl. I
may look or appear to be intimidating but my desire typically is not to
intimidate. I like everyone else
want to be accepted and loved.
Despite how many times I have done this, leading a team of
missionaries can be intimidating.
I know I might have more wisdom in some areas than these college women
and men have but I am still just a girl at the end of the day.
In the past few days it has come up that I am intimidating
to the people I am leading.
Someone told me they were scared of me yesterday and I was caught of
guard. I don’t view myself at all
as a scary or intimidating person nor am I sure that I want to be viewed in
that way.
As we had some girl time tonight the truth of the matter was
revealed. Though I knew what they
meant by saying those things it was nice to hear them explain themselves and
why they felt that I am scary and intimidating.
My first month on the field in January 2008, Michael and
Kathy Hindes were praying over me; during that time they called out who I
am. They prophesied over me that
spiritually I am a rock breaker and an earth shaker. At that
point I had no idea what that meant but now I understand it more.
The idea of an earth quake and the earth shaking and being
broken evokes fear in people, but sometimes the foundation we are standing on
is faulty and false and needs to be remodeled. The process of movement isn’t always pleasant as things
break and change. Sometimes the chisel being hammered into our rock, our
foundation, is painful especially to the ones who are assisting the chiseling
action.
Thankfully I am secure enough in my identity in Christ that
being told I am scary or intimidating doesn’t crush me. As I am writing this it actually
encourages me more than ever because I see how God made me to be this way. I was designed to cause movement and
change. To direct people to the
truth of who they really are and who Christ is in them.
Thankfully I know that despite how uncomfortable it makes me
to shake things up, the people being shaken are just as uncomfortable. When we are uncomfortable we tend to
rely on God so much more. I may be
just a girl when I lay down to sleep at night but I am thankful that God has
chosen me to shake things up for his Kingdom.
Spiritual earth quakes are happening daily on this team
through the work of the Holy Spirit.
It is awesome to watch as these young people claim their authority in
Christ and share it with the Nicaraguans.
Keep praying for more spiritual earth quakes and more rocks to break for
Kingdom’s sake.
