Being a squad leader of a World Race is such a weird place to be. I find myself often putting pressure on myself to do certain things because I am supposed to be the “leader”. For some reason I have in my brain what a leader is and isn’t supposed to do. I also have a hard time understanding my purpose this year. Am I supposed to be the one leading people out into doing ministry or am I supposed to be there alongside them guiding them. I find myself not even desiring to serve the people of the countries I am in but ultimately desiring to serve the North Americans I am traveling with. Then as I start to think like that I condemn myself for being selfish, if I am here shouldn’t I be throwing myself out into the community to serve? Aghhhhhhhhhhhh…… Too much thinking!
RELAX AND CHILL OUT are two of the things the Lord continues to tell me…
I have realized that I seem to have this idea that is hard to break about what a “quiet time” with the Lord looks like. Things you need for a “quiet time” often consist of:
Your Bible
Journal
Pen
Ipod
Devotional or Christian book
WHO MADE THIS LIST UP????????
What is quiet about any of these things? All of these things typically require me to think and do something.
AM I SCARED TO SIT AND JUST BE STILL BEFORE THE LORD?
AM I AFRAID THAT GOD MIGHT ACTUALLY TALK TO ME, AND REQUIRE SOMETHING OF ME?
This morning during a time of musical worship with Teams Fuego and Abandon I felt a physical weight on my chest and felt like the Lord was telling me to ask if there was anyone in the room who has felt disconnected to God, who in their “quiet times” has felt distant to the Lord. I of course went through the inner struggle of whether or not to share but thankfully I did. After I asked who had felt disconnected two people answered that they had felt that way. It was cool because I could share with them that I too had been feeling the same way but the Lord had given me some cool wisdom.
I recently have heard people here come back from their times with the Lord and sharing that it was such an incredible experience and on and on and so I began to question the Lord. Why don’t I find you in these really cool ways? Why are my times with you so uneventful? The Lord so kindly reminded me that He is everywhere, that He speaks to me all the time and I recognize his voice clearly and that I should just relax and enjoy his creation.
WHY AM I ALWAYS TRYING SO HARD TO FIND GOD WHEN HE IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME???
I know being still shouldn’t be scary but there is something about our culture that causes us to think negatively about being still.
I wasn’t going to blog about this but for some reason the Lord has this blog for some one, I have no clue who you are and won’t have any clue unless you share with me. My encouragement to you, whoever you are is to BE STILL before the Lord today. Find yourself a quiet place with just you and God, no pen, no paper, no music, nothing! Just sit and be still and see what happens. Leave your expectations behind of what the time should look like and allow the Lord to surprise you.
IF YOU ALLOW GOD TO MOVE HE WILL SHOW UP, YOU CAN BE CONFIDENT IN THAT!!!!
BLESSINGS TO YOU THIS DAY AS YOU EXPERIENCE THE PRESENCE OF GOD!
