Let me be the first to say that it’s gross that I have so many friends. No one knows that many people. I really don’t know how it happened either. Believe me when I say that I’ve had my fair share of FB purges (and yes I only accept friend requests from people I’ve meet) but yet here we are. Ever since I could remember having a social life, connecting with people was easy and rewarding. I’m fortunate in that God gives me favor and influence with people I meet, and through these many relationships I have shared amazing adventures, heard incredible stories, and expanded my horizons and my heart.
Earlier this month, as I read through Don Miller’s book, Blue Like Jazz, I was struck by this story of a man who cried at the mention of the name Jesus because he was so in love with Him. In light of this, I spent this month asking the Lord to help me grow in my relationship with Him. So, I read through the Gospels, spent time in prayer, and sought after a Jesus. What I realized is that the way I looked at relationships on this earth affected how I view my relationship with my Savior.
Wide Reach, Shallow Roots
Let me be clear. I do not have 3,424 friends. I don’t even have 1,000 friends. Maybe 100 people, if asked, would say that they considered me to be their friend, and a mere handful would actually mean it. It’s not to say that I don’t want to be (or they for that matter), but I just know that I have not been a friend to many people.
My closest friends would often joke about how every time we went out we would run into at least one person who knew me. That bothered me for some reason which is why they always said it. I think it was because I felt like there were a lot of people who “knew of” me, but only few who really knew me.
Someone once told me it was easy to remember me because my name was unique. So, I looked it up. Turns out he was right. There is only one Paris Winfrey in the world.
For as outgoing as I am, I feel like a very reclusive person. I don’t often open up to people, and when I do share, it’s all the things that get the “ooh’s” and “awe’s” in my life – the stuff God has already restored – not the struggles that I’m still going through. I’m not really good at pursuing people either. For example, I was surprised to find out that people give gifts to one another on days other than Christmas.
My relationship with Jesus was shaped by this. I thought the things he knew of me were enough. He probably wouldn’t really like me if he got to know me anyway. I was satisfied with the level of our relationship and wasn’t interested in pursuing him or sharing the things that were boring and seemingly unappealing. He showed me that he wants to go deeper, and he wants me to be myself. Jesus is my best friend, and because he is my best friend, I should tell him everything, and talk to him every day.
Making It Last
Most of the friends I have in my life I’ve known for less than 5 years. People come and go in life and I’ve always jumped from friend circle to friend circle. For better or for worse, this put a damper on my ability to maintain long term friendships. I used to have a friend named Markie who I spent nearly every day with growing up, but I haven’t talked to him in years. We lost touch and neither of us made an effort to reconnect.
I’ve known Jesus since I was a boy. There are times that we’ve been really close, but many seasons have passed where we lost touch.
Have you every joined a group of friends who have known each other longer than they’ve known you? My community at church was like that. The people were great, and they were more than welcoming and loving when I came into their world but they had been together for years, and I always noticed how my relationship with them was different. Time had given them memories and bonds, and there was no way to go back in time and share in those with them. Jesus taught me not to compare what we have with others this past month, but he also showed me the value of staying constant and steadfast in my pursuit of relationship with Him. They didn’t love me any less and neither does He, but like a pineapple (which takes two years to grow), there are fruits to be had in a relationship that take time to reap.
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