Since the Race…
God is good and he is constantly leading me through obstacles in my life with the purpose of teaching me and helping me to mature into the woman that he has called me to be. When I first returned from the race I was under the impression that life would retain the breakneck pace that I had kept up for 11 months but instead my life slowed down significantly.
In a lot of ways it felt like I wasn’t getting anywhere and at times I was even convinced that I was going backwards. Coming home was a difficult and lengthy transition – a process all the way through. When I look back I am able to see the ways that God was leading me to get me to where I am today. I now recognize that my zealous drive for justice which was birthed on the race needed the added wisdom and understanding that I am obtaining through school. I also now recognize that there were big pieces missing – pieces I absolutely love – that would have been lost if I hadn’t slowed down after the race.
So if you’re just coming of the field and don’t know how to handle this weird alumni life – I get it and hang in there because even when it doesn’t seem to fit God has a plan.
For those of you that followed my blog and supported me but don’t have regular contact here are a few logistics about what I am doing now that the race is over:
School:
I am currently studying to complete my diploma in Social Service Work. The diploma program has a direct link into the BSW program at the University of Northern British Columbia. A few weeks ago I completed my application for the program and I am just waiting to hear if I got in.
You can totally pray for that!
My goal is to complete a BSW degree and then continue on to obtain a masters in counselling. My love for counselling is one of those pieces I would have missed if I had rushed on like I wanted to when God was saying slow down.
Be the Change:
I helped to found a social activism club on campus and I play a large leadership role in assisting with event planning and meetings. Through my involvement I am flexing my leadership muscles, learning how to work better on a team and getting the amazing opportunity to build relationships with some truly amazing people. It keeps me busy but I truly love it.
The biggest project that I’m working on now is an art show/live music/poetry reading event for April 25th. We’re opening the event to the community so if you’re in Quesnel on April 25th come on down to the campus and take it in.
Quesnel Community Living Association:
Shortly after coming home I was hired by QCLA as a casual support worker. I work with adults who have developmental disabilities within my community with the goal of fostering greater independence and a stronger skill set. I love my job and I love the people that I get to work with. Work is constantly teaching me things about myself and showing me how to be even better at working with people – which is a good thing.
Children’s Ministry:
Since coming home I have been a part of the Children’s ministry at my church as a Sunday School teacher. There are few things as exciting and worthwhile as getting to pour into the next generation of cage rattlers, warriors, and lovers of the King of Kings. It is a challenge at times but I love it just the same.
And that’s kind of all… I feel like I am constantly busy but I will still try to find a way to post something here once in a while to let everyone know that I’m still around. 🙂
Warm Regards,
Nicole.
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Original WR Bio:
Since I was a child I have wanted to do two things:
#1. To be a missionary.
#2. To write.
Part of the appeal of the World Race is the combination of both of my passions.
I love people and I am fascinated by the unique qualities of each individual that I come into contact with. I love the character of God, how He chooses to interact with us in a way that is unique and personal. Most of all I love the stories that come out of the relationship between each individual and God.
I have often been unsatisfied with my own story. There was a point during high school when I seriously considered being rebellious so that I could have a testimony like everyone else. At the time I was blinded to the amazing quality of the story that I was living out day by day.
I grew up in the church. When I was 7 I had an amazing encounter with God and decided that I wanted to serve him as a missionary. After that I was determined to live each and every day for God. I sought him relentlessly but along the way I became extremely legalistic and religious. I bought into the lie that I have to work to please God.
I worked my fingers to the bone. I got frustrated. I couldn’t please God no matter how hard I tried. I believed that I had to be good enough, productive or successful enough for God to trust me enough to walk out my dream. If I was going to be a missionary I had better make some pretty amazing progress right here, right now.
By grad I was angry. I had tried hard to please God. I did everything I could think of to make him happy, to make him love me and God never came through for me once. I had given Him everything and got nothing but silence in return.
I realized that I had stopped loving God a long time ago.
I became depressed. I no longer had a dream. I believed God didn’t love me and, honestly, I’m not good at living life without Him. All of my worth was founded in the fact that he loved me. There was nothing worth living for anymore.
I am an excellent actress, or liar, when I choose to be. I pretended that everything was okay for the longest time and tried to keep up the pretense that my life was in perfect order. I was good at it too. Being naturally quiet gave me the ability to be withdrawn and disconnected from reality without arousing a lot of attention. But once in a while the perfect facade would crack wide open and I would break down and sob so hard that I could not stop myself.
It was in those moments of inner turmoil when I was completely out of control that God met me. I would lash out at him in my desperation; accuse him of leaving me alone and accuse him of being a liar.
All of the Sunday School verses I had memorized over the years started coming to mind. I would cry out and God would remind me of a verse, I would contradict it bitterly and he would bring another to mind in rebuttal. It took some time, approximately 3 years, but God uprooted the lies that I believed and replaced them with the truth. What is the truth?
I Am Loved…
God loves me. He loves me and His love changes absolutely everything. As I began to truly understand who God is and what it means to be loved by Him God began to restore my dreams. Part of the restoration of my dreams was the World Race.
It has been 4 years since God began the process of exposing lies and grafting in the truth. Around 3 years ago, a year into my journey back into the arms of God, I stumbled across the World Race blogs.
My initial thought? …WOW…
But God would never allow me to do something so amazing. He would never trust me enough.
God’s response: Oh really, Nicole? I would and I will.
As the time went on God continued to build me up and every once in a while I found myself looking back over the World Race blogs. As I read the blogs I found myself thinking about the way that God feels about me, day dreaming, wondering whether he was serious but not really believing that he was.
One day I realized that God had confronted every excuse that I had come up with for not applying to the World Race. I stood back watching as everything slid into place and I realized that the only thing holding me back was me.
God said: I LOVE you Nicole. What you choose is up to you. It changes absolutely nothing between us but you must choose. You are never alone. I am with you.
So I took a leap of faith, believed God when he told me that he loved me and applied.
Now I am getting ready to do something that I have always dreamed of but never believed would actually happen to me. My story always comes around to one fact – God loves us – and I believe that’s because it’s what I’m called to preach with my life.
As you read my blog it is my hope that you will encounter the love of God and see your own life radically changed in the process.
