Presenting An Undivided Heart:Psalm 86:11
Teach me your way, O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.
It seems to me that when push comes to shove I choose me over God. It’s not that I don’t want to do what God says, that I disagree or even that I don’t see the benefit in what he’s telling me to do but sometimes I would really rather stay in my comfort zone.
In Jeremiah 29:11 God tells us that the plans he has for us include prosperity, hope and a future. They are good plans and God is trustworthy, he will see them through to completion. However, although we will see the most benefit by living according to his plans, God will not force us to do so.
You are not a marionette.
God didn’t create us to be emotionless automatons with no control over our own destinies; he created us to live in freedom. Part of that freedom comes into play when we are faced with the choice to take part in relationship with God or live independantly from him.
In the Garden of Eden Adam and Eve believed a lie about their identity and chose to live independently from God. The lie that they chose to believe was that they could BE God. They believed the lie so completely that they felt ashamed when they realized that they had been fooled.
Their pride, (the result of the lie that still held sway over them), barred them from reentering the former relationship they had enjoyed with God. They were sent from the Garden for their protection but because they believe the lie they were unable to recognize God’s love for them and believed that He had rejected them.
God saw their hearts and promised them that He would restore the relationship. Though we are bound by the lies that we believe, endlessly striving to be what Adam and Eve had first imagined they would be, God promises that He will set us free.
The rest of the Bible is the story of how God accomplished that promise and made it possible for us to re-enter perfect relationship with Him.
I have been set free from the bondages of the lie that says that I must be a confident, independent and self sufficient human being. The unnatural stress of expectations are dissolved in the knowledge of God’s unconditional love for me.
If God is for me, who can stand against me?
And if God is for me, why would I be afraid of anything?
And yet…
I still have those moments of quiet rebellion when I know that God has told me to do something and I make a deliberate decision NOT to obey. Why?
I must confess that sometimes I am ashamed. I am ashamed of God and afraid to obey Him and live my life honestly in front of other people. And I’m not even talking about in the day to day stuff, I mean in church. I am extremely careful to keep the Holy Spirit in check during meetings, after all I don’t want to do anything undignified like start to cry and make my mascara run. I don’t want to jump around and mess up my hair or bow down on the carpet and get dust on my clothes.
The God I serve has given me everything, including the freedom I have to hold him at bay. Why do I struggle so much to present him with an undivided heart?
