They weren't kidding when they challenged us at training camp to give up our expectations and our route. Here I am sitting in an internet cafe in Bungoma, Kenya wondering what is going to happen next with our squad. We were supposed to have been starting our 8th month in our 8th country today. My team had left for Uganda a week early and were planning on meeting up with the rest of our squad there. One night however, we got a call at around 8 pm telling us to get out of Uganda that very night, due to an Ebola outbreak and that the rest of our squad had been told to stay put in Kenya until further notice. So back to Kenya we went, and here we are still in transition mode, living like nomads and sleeping on the floor of a local Pastor's living room.
It was all very exciting at first, but now we are just tired and antsy for something different, something new. (My team and I have literally been on the move for the past week and 1/2.) To be honest, I have been feeling kind of lost lately. We aren't settled, we have no "home" at the moment, and our men are leaving tomorrow for South Sudan for "manistry" month. And yes, despite all the farting, I am a little sad about not having them around. And for crying out loud, I don't even know what country to update my facebook location to!
For the past several weeks I have felt this odd feeling like I am stuck in some sort of slow motion time warp. I don't really know exactly how to explain it. We only have four months left on the race before we go home. It seems like so soon and yet so far away at the same time. As much as I miss home, I am no where near ready to return to it. I feel like there is so much left to be accomplished. So many things I have learned that still need to be put into practice. Still so much victory and healing that I desperately want to see take root.
I am anxious about the end. I am anxious about going back to a mediocre life, to the way things were. If it were up to me I would continue traveling the world and sharing the love of Jesus with those I meet. Living life on the move definitely has it's advantages. If we find ourselves in a place we don't particularly like, we know that in just a few short weeks we'll move on to the next country and onto something new. Life is an adventure and I don't want the adventures to end. But who says the adventure has to end once the world race is over?
I am still in limbo about what God has for me once the race is over, but I know I can trust that His plans for me are great and beyond my wildest expectations. I don't need to fear going back to who I was, because I know I will never be the same. The enemy cannot undo what God has done in me and my life. Isaiah 43:13 – From eternity to eternity I am God. No one can snatch anyone out of my hand, no one can undo what I have done.
So for now in this unknown, I choose to trust that God has everything under control, even if I don't. I choose to make the most out of the next four months and trust that they are going to be incredibly awesome and that growth is going to come rapidly and increasingly and that it will be a permanent change that will not come undone once I return to life back home. I choose to believe that no matter where God takes me in this life, that it will be the best for me. I choose to find adventure wherever life takes me, even in the mediocre. I refuse to settle for less than what God has for me. I refuse to focus any longer on what isn't happening in my life and start rejoicing in what is happening. I refuse to settle for death. I choose life… and to live it abundantly.
The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. -John 10:10
