God spoke to me through an egg

 

I’m sitting here in the living room of our Kenyan ministry contact’s home, listening as it thunders and rains for the 8^th day in a row now, trying to figure out how to put yesterday into words.

My team and I went to a little village outside Kitale to walk around and visit people’s homes to encourage them and pray for them. This is our second month in Africa, so door-to-door visitations were nothing new to us. We walked around with two Pastors, John and Peter, so naturally we split up into two teams in order to cover more ground.

My teammate Wes and I teamed up with Pastor Peter and went our way. After visiting one woman, encouraging and praying for her, she went into a back room to get something. It was one brown egg, which she handed to me as a “gift offering” of thanks for coming to see her. It was the strangest gift I’d ever received and didn’t really know what to do with it. We laughed and thanked her and went on our way to the next home. A part of me was thinking, “I don’t really want to carry an egg around the rest of the afternoon…and it’ll break if I put it in my purse.” I had thoughts of just throwing it away or giving it to someone else. Yet something told me to just hold on to it.

A few homes later, another woman we were visiting, went into a back room and came out with a whole bag of eggs. Our Pastor laughed about how my “blessing” was multiplying. And yet again, another home we visited, the people gave me two more eggs. By the end of it I had had 8 eggs total.

Had I thrown away that first egg, I most likely wouldn’t have received any more eggs. And that’s when the revelation hit me: It was a parallel to the blessings of God.  Often we see God’s blessings (if not overlooked) as “small” and not really what we want at all. (I really want a husband and a family – but because I have often been so preoccupied with that desire at times, I have missed out on the blessings all around me.) God showed me that when we’re faithful with those “small” blessings, learning to be content and grateful for them, He will begin to increase and multiply our blessing with even greater blessings.

Years ago I was given a prophetic word that my identity was joy. And since being on the race I am learning that joy is also my inheritance, a blessing from God. He is teaching me to recognize blessings in my life, rather than focus on the things I don’t yet have.

Two mornings ago I had a mini break down and shared with my team about how I have struggled with fearing that I will never know what love is in this life. After reading the book “Spiritual Slavery to Spiritual Sonship,” I realized just how much I have closed off my heart as a means of protection. Yet in doing so I have created a wall around my heart that has often blocked receiving love from others and hindered me in knowing how to express love in return. I have often been blind to the love that others were showing me because all I could “see” was that blasted wall in front of me. I have often bought into the lie that getting married would fix this problem, that I will finally know love once I get married. How many of us have thought that very thing? If I only find the right guy, or get into a good relationship, or get married, I'll finally be satisfied, finally feel loved.
Deep down I know that is not the case. Ever since the beginning of the race, God has been taking me to deeper levels of intimacy with Him, and opening my heart to fully receive His love. Because the truth is, only His love will completely satisfy and make me whole. I am growing more and more secure in the Father's love.

God is teaching me to recognize and receive not only His many blessings in my life, but His love and love from others as well. He is showing me how to be fully satisfied and whole in His love alone, before He will bless me with a husband. And that is the greatest blessing I could ever ask for.