Over the past couple months I’ve had multiple people ask me just how excited I am to be traveling the world for a year. It’s been hard for me to know how to really say what I am feeling because it just wouldn’t make sense to the general population. But, instead of saying the easy thing, that yes, I am SO excited to be going on the World Race, I think I owe it to my supporters, friends and followers to dive in to my real emotions.
There’s a plethora of thoughts that run through my mind when someone asks that question, “Aren’t you SO excited!”
First thought: NOOOO!
Rebuttal: Oh, that sounds really bad doesn’t it.
Ongoing rubbage: I’m crazy! Why am I not excited this?
– I can’t expect them to understand if I don’t understand why I’m struggling to enjoy this.
– Maybe it was how they phrased it? … traveling the world… it’s not like I’m touring Asia.
So, after months of pouring over the reason for my, so called, uncommon response to what seems like the world’s greatest opportunity, here’s my chance to explain.
I want to take you back to the week I sent in my application for the World Race.
That whole week leading up to the final click of that “submit” button, I was like a Lamborghini given free rein on the Auto Bon. My mind was racing with excitement over every detail of this new and exciting opportunity to travel the world. I didn’t sleep, I hardly ate, I talked without any breath for air hour after hour to my mom and about how this was the best thing that could ever happen to me. (Of course, because they love me, they never interrupted and always gave me their undivided attention). I pondered the pros and cons, and logically it didn’t make sense for me to even think about going on the World Race, but somehow I just knew I had to try. After all, who WOULD give up the opportunity to travel the world! So yes, there was a point in time when I was SO excited about traveling the world that it kept me from sleeping…. Yeah, you call that crazy.
I was going to be immersed in new cultures, seeing extravagant sights, maybe get a souvenir here and there and
everything changed when I hit submit.
sub·mit
verb
1. To accept or yield to a superior force or to the authority or will of another person.
2. To present to a person or body for consideration or judgment.
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synonyms: |
give in/way, yield, back down, cave in, capitulate; surrender, be governed by, abide by, be regulated by, comply with, accept, adhere to, be subject to, agree to, consent to, conform to |
I didn’t intend for this to be a metaphor but that’s what its proving to be.
In my day to day life, everything changed after I applied to the World Race. My emotions fluctuated ; they did a 180; changed their mind. For whatever reason I was absolutely NOT excited, nor thrilled, to be going on this trip. And for weeks, I prayed wondering why I was no longer so enthusiastic about this opportunity. Many of you may have even been following me along my journey and recall a blog I wrote declaring that I would no longer be going on the World Race. I had thought that, well, if I wasn’t enjoying this journey or even a tad bit hype about this adventure anymore than this obviously wasn’t what I should do. Why should I force myself into a situation where I was not comfortable or happy? But in the back of my mind I was just as confused by the fact that I had spent a whole week losing sleep over this amazing opportunity.
To wrap this up, I guess I need to distinguish the difference between what I think some may perceive this trip to be and what this trip IS in actuality. Or so, what God has chosen this trip to be FOR me.
This is not an opportunity to travel the world.
Its not a time to pick up souvenirs
Or visit the major attractions that can be found in these extravagant countries
Nor the opportunity to enjoy the privileges of being a well-off American traveling comfortably, eating what I want, spending money on unnecessary things and frankly, using this opportunity for selfish gain.
When I submitted by application, I submitted to His Will for my life. I presented myself to God for consideration or judgment. I yielded to the one and only superior force. And, so often many of us who follow Jesus confuse His Will for our life as being, pleasant, enjoyable, easy, peaceful and so on. That’s not what He promises when we choose to follow His call. He doesn’t promise us the American Dream with a white picket fence. That’s what WE want out of submitting to the Father, but that’s peasant status on the totem pole God has in mind for us as ambassadors of Christ. I knew that this was the calling God had placed on my life for this season, and I wanted to follow that calling because I know that’s what were supposed to do as followers of Christ. But when I actually took that step to walk by faith, to act on my belief, it became a lot harder for me to follow His calling than to just know I WANTED to.
Submission isn’t fun at all. Its not exciting. Does “presenting yourself to a superior being for consideration or judgment” sound fun. No. It doesn’t.
I wasn’t aware that God was using this amazing opportunity to discipline me. To show me what its like to truly be a selfless, humble servant to His creation. And so, in a sense, I am not excited about continually being poked and prodded by the Holy Spirit to change my selfish ways. I am not excited about discipline, hard work and sacrifice. If were honest, that’s not what we usually associate with when we hear the word Christian. But it SHOULD BE. Sacrifice, humility, service. Those should be the things that we use to represent God. The superior being we choose to submit to.
This trip, I don’t expect to be all fun and games, but I do know that to enjoy something is to embody joy itself and that means knowing how to be satisfied in whatever circumstance I may find myself in. Whether lacking and in want, or having everything I need.
Submission may be considered a trial that we have to endure, but that’s what this season, for ME, is all about.
James 4: 7-8, 10 Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you.
1 Peter 5:5 God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.
James 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete. Not lacking anything.
I want evil to flee from me, so I will resist the devil and submit to God. I desire for God to draw near to me so I will draw near to Him. I want His grace. So I will pursue humility. I will endure trials, because I want to be made complete not lacking anything.
Being excited about discipline and pruning? No
Being excited about the joy I will be able to embody and learning to be more like Christ? ABSOLUTELY.
There will be times when I have fun in the midst of this difficult next year, but fun is not the thing were racing towards the finish line for. Completeness and JOY is.
Please understand that this is more than just visiting 11 countries and sightseeing for me. It’s a season of submission, discipline, change, humility, servant hood, brokenness, and realizing just how much I cant live without Jesus. But in the process, I am discovering true and genuine joy and excitement for the things that excite my Father too.
Lesson to take home: Just because something loses its panache, excitement, or “fun factor” does not mean that God isn’t calling you to it. In fact, a lot of things that God asks of us, we may attribute to be unenjoyably. But following Him is not for the gain of happiness, but because He deserves our praise adoration and obedience. So if you’re wondering whether the application that’s due tomorrow should be submitted even though you know it will test and try your patience and obedience, it may be exactly what God is asking of you. Pray continually. Give thanks in all circumstances. Do all things with joy and you wont be lead astray.
I will travel the road less traveled, that this road, in the future, may be the road of common travels.
