I'm not the best at starting blogs because there's not a clear way to dive into some things. I think I'll just ramble for a bit, and eventually, I'll get to where I want to go (settle down…I promise the ramblings aren't that bad). I used to be the kind of person that liked to rehearse things over in my head before saying them out loud (maybe I still do that sometimes). Whether it was a prayer, a hard conversation, or a big decision, I always thought that everything should come together nicely in my head before I let everything out.
Wow. How things have changed…
I verbally process more than ever, and I've had to recognize the strengths and weaknesses that come with it. I've resisted being "that guy" that needed to be heard, but I've come to realize that the more I talk something through, the more it makes things real to me (our words seriously have power). I'm so thankful for the people that just listen when I need to process. Seriously, thank you listeners…you know who you are.
This past week, I was training a Passport Immersion squad at our July training camp (fantastic time to be outside in the 95% humidity Georgia weather…seriously). They go to 3 countries in 9 months (that's 3 countries every 3 months for the non-math people out there). It was a new opportunity to be with a different age group and see how ministry and training would be with them. In the back of my mind, I kept thinking that I felt called to lead this age group. And not just this age group, this trip specifically.
What does that even mean though?
Called to lead an age group?
Sounds a little weird honestly. Maybe even more than just a little. As much as I wanted to shrug this feeling off, I felt I needed to press into it more and see what it really meant. What God kept bringing me back to was that I could seriously impart something to them. Not solely by me, Matthew, but by the things the Lord has walked with me through. Brokenness I've had to feel. Abandonment of so many things that have shook me to my core of finding my identity. Realizing that it's ok not to be ok.
But would I even want to go there? Pack my stuff up and go back to living out of a pack? Be uncomfortable again? Choose to put things on hold AGAIN? And why would I leave such a great community?
The more I thought about this, the more questions I had, and my thoughts started to overwhelm me. And this is coming from a person that likes questions…
In the midst of emotions everywhere, hard conversations, lack of sleep, and who knows what other factors, God really filled me with a peace that passes all understanding…it seriously exists. That peace really allowed me to decide. He spoke something into me about a month ago that lined up perfectly with leading this trip. So what does that mean? Was it really that simple? Simply put, yes.
I will be squad leading this amazing Immersion squad this September!
So what does that mean exactly? For 3-4 months, I will get to minster, pour into, love, and disciple this awesome group! I will be with them in Nicaragua and then travel to the Philippines to set them up for success for the rest of their trip. I also get to lead this amazing group of people with the amazing Brittany Priess.
What can you do? Pray! Honestly, prayer is the one thing that I keep coming back to that I need so much of right now. Pray for my squad. Pray for hard conversations and brokenness of the things that keep us distant from God. Pray for an awakening in all of our hearts and minds. Pray for funds to come in. Pray for my co-leader Brittany. Pray for transition after I get back. Pray for transitions all my friends are walking through right now. Pray that the Holy Spirit moves in everything.
I know this was a long one, and if you stuck in there, I congratulate you. Seriously, thank YOU. I am beyond excited for what this next season will bring. I am excited to see the Lord move when we have no other choice, and see that He is such a good God. Love, love, love you all!
