This blog is literally my thoughts typed out. I wanted to share my heart…
What is my calling? I heard a very good quote that says, “Two things that are important, the day you were born and why.” when it is said like that it gets you to think. When I think what is my calling what it MY calling… I specifically do not know. A question I ask myself How the heck do I find my calling? I got a good piece of advice today that was literally like duh Margaret “Listen to The Lord and obey.” that means saying no to my flesh and yes to the father…
Now that leads me into what is my story, I know I was called to do missions, I know my life isn’t going to be the normal American Dream. I have a strong feeling that I will be doing missions long term. Ah there I said it. I admitted to it. I felt like I knew it all along but never wanted to admit it… dang it!
Here are a few questions that were asked today and I wrote down with honesty,
1. God wants us to want something. What is it that you want? what world’s need will you fight for?” To be happy with what The Lord has for me and not what I want and think I need to be happy. I want to fight for what is right. Being on Gods side I have the right tools to go out and be selfless.
2. All stories have conflict. What Conflict may you come against? What challenges will come your way?” My conflict may be distractions such as,The American dream, going back into the 9-5 routine and just becoming content since it is so apart of our culture.
3. What will you do in the next two weeks to live a better story? Ask a “what if I did?” questions. Think of a specific thing you can do. What if I was self-less, what would that look like to me? Not having my way, being happy with other peoples choices and not trying to be the dominant one.
These 3 questions opened up my eyes even more. I know there is no such thing as coincidence because Something the Lord has really been putting on my heart is to stop being so selfish. which leads me into another question that was asked
4. Have you had selfish wants? Have they changed or developed? I have! I lived in a me, me, me world. To have the best job, be the best worker, money, materialistic things, nice car, house, etc. I still find myself getting irritated if things don’t go my way. It’s definitely something The Lord has pressed deep on my heart to see others like Christ does. To start being content with other peoples choices. God knows if it is a real action or not in my heart. I know there is a change in my heart, it is definitely humbling to step on my pride and to love well. To not be like the rest of The World with the typical young adult mindset my generation has
Last but not least…
5. Do you see any sudden changed in your story? Why? What happened? I do! The beginning of this month I actually stepped on my pride and dug deep to why I use to feel lonely. I received healing in these areas and I am set free! Then during ministry this month I got sick BUT The Lord loves me so much He used that time I was sick and staying back to become more intimate with my relationship with God. AND THEN, just within the past two weeks my team did something called super feedback where we tell each other positive and constructive feedback and the Lord really used my team to tell me I already have victory, I already have that Authority that God gave me and to use it for myself. There has been such a shift in the way I think lately and I know it is The Lord. The Lord showed me that I need to stop saying I want this and I want that because I already have it. I already have my victory and now I just need to walk it out.
I am willing to grow every single day. Some days are much harder than others, to where you want to give up because it is too much to handle but when it gets hard that’s when I know I am growing in Him and writing my own story.
