Leeches. Disgusting creatures in my opinion. They attach to you, cling on for dear life, and do not let go until you forcefully remove them. And even when they are gone, the bleeding doesn’t stop. Instead, you must apply pressure to the place they inhabited because the natural clotting reaction in your body is hindered by the chemicals the leeches secreted while attached. My squadmate, Kyle, recently wrote a blog about this. (http://kyledrury.theworldrace.org/) He talked about how he and some of our other squadmates went on a hike finding themselves covered with leeches. He said that as the bleeding continued on his own body, he was reminded of how sometimes when we peel off or dig out the hard things in our life, we are left with this hole that needs applied pressure. That pressure, as he called it, is, in his life, Christian community. This blog post got me thinking about the things in my own life that I have been digging out and peeling off. I hate when that happens…
As most of you know, I was stuck in a Nepali hospital bed for nine days with Dengue Fever. At first, I was so annoyed that I would have to be stuck in a hospital for even one night, but as one night turned into eight nights, I decided I would fill my time with useful things. You know, like praying for other people, talking to the nurses, meeting the other patients around me, and taking full advantage of the hot showers that were included in my stay. For real, y’all, those hot showers were a blessing. Anyway, does anyone else notice a theme in that to-do list? Everything I planned on doing revolved around other people. Meeting them, talking to them, sharing with them, and teaching them about Jesus. Nowhere in there did I allow room for self-reflection or time spent working on the things that Jesus needs to iron out in my life. The things that I need to peel off. The things that I need to dig out. Apparently I am really good at getting in my own way, as someone I know loves to tell me. Now, I am not saying that being others focused is a bad thing. In fact, it’s a great thing, but when you are focused on others in an effort to run from your own baggage, it isn’t so great.
On the sixth day of my hospital visit, I got a FaceTime call from one of our squad coaches. This is always an exciting moment, because I love our squad coaches (shoutout to Amy and Papa Smurf!) My coach called to ask how I was feeling, if I needed anything, how she could be praying for me, and so on. But this check-up very quickly turned into a discussion where I peeled off, no, yanked off one of the leeches in my life…thanks, Amy. I found myself hemorrhaging all of this information and pain that I had felt for so long, but could never seem to talk about. Not just information and pain, but shame, which always seems to be the hardest thing for me to confront. And after I had ripped it off and the pain started to flow, there was no way to shove it back inside. Dang it! I couldn’t press it back down, deep inside of me where I could keep it hidden. Nope, I just had to let it come. But I also realized, after some time and a few more conversations, that I needed to apply pressure to this heart wound or it would drain me. And let me tell you, Kyle’s blog spoke so much truth into this for me. For him it is Christian community that applies the needed pressure. For me, it is both community and vulnerability. I have discovered that I need my community to speak truth into me and love me through the hard things. But just as important, is the vulnerability required from me in order for my community to love me well in the midst of purging the bad and receiving the good.
All this to say, sometimes life is hard. Sometimes the leeches that we have been carrying around have been left there for so long because, hey, it’s way easier to cover up the scary things. So, when we finally tear them off the holes they left are really big. But that’s where God comes in. He has equipped us with Himself. And in that, we find community, truth, love, vulnerability, patience, gentleness and everything else we could ever need in order to stop the “bleeding.” How amazing is that?
As someone who reads my blog, I have a favor to ask you. I want to know what things help you when you need pressure applied? Do you seek community? Biblical truth? Maybe the hug of someone close to you? Or maybe it’s a mixture of all of the above. Whatever it is, would you be willing to comment and tell me? I would love to know how you apply pressure to those hard places! After all, I am always open to trying something new!
XOXO,
Maddie
