If I only had one word to describe the first week here in Panajachel, it would be “challenging”. For a number of reasons. And here are those numbers:
1. Ben, our contact, is a strong personality, and is strong in his faith. He’s full of love, but preaches much more of a hard line message of The Gospel than I’m used to. And I didn’t really know how to handle that, or approach him. I thought the challenge here was going to be for me to love him despite what I thought were great differences in our understanding of God’s love. Turns out, that isn’t the challenge. The challenge is in fact dealing with the fact that I’m judgmental, and that I judged Ben pretty hard. I apologized to him about it, telling him I’ve been judging him, and he was nothing but gracious. I expect God to deal with this issue in me bigtime, because it’s turning out to be a pretty big issue.
(And here I thought praying that I would be able to see God’s children as He sees them as something that would alter how I view other people…not myself. Surprise! God wants to work on MY heart, not work on how I see the hearts of others. Now you’re in on the secret…pray as you will.)
2. We’ve been working on building construction projects this week. And I’m not what you’d call, “mechanically minded.” Apparently, being an engineer is much more practical than being an “imagineer”. (Thanks for all the misleading Walt Disney.) So yeah, when I’m asked to build a door, or a window, or to add on to a pre-existing stair case, and left to do it, to figure it out, and make it worthwhile…well, it turns out I just stand there looking around, expecting someone to come out of nowhere, do it for me…while I make jokes and lighten their heart. I don’t know if you know this or not…but that’s not how houses are built.
So I’ve been frustrated with my lack of practical building skills, and being forced to figure out on my own, and alongside others, how to do something I don’t think I’m at all capable of doing. And then when it doesn’t come together, or looks like a 2nd grade arts and craft project that isn’t going to make the cut of being hung outside the classroom in the hallway, well I get discouraged and start to wonder what I’m even doing here, and why did I think I could even help anyone anyway.
3. I’ll get right to the point on this one….I know close to zero scripture. For a guy who talks a big game about wanting to intimately pursue God and Jesus and Holy Spirit, I don’t have much to show for that talk. Oh sure, I read TONS of books about the Bible, and listen to a lot of talks and sermons about the Bible…and that makes me feel like I know the Bible, and makes it easy to sound like I know the Bible…but really, it’s like saying I know a lot about building a house because I watch “This Old House” whenever I have nothing to do, and don’t feel like getting off the couch, or sweeping the Oreo crumbs off my chest (that have been there for possibly over an over) on a lazy rainy day off from work.
(So this is something that challenged me, and one that I’m diving into full swing. I started reading John, and am working my way through the gospel myself. And…get this…I’m even re-reading parts to try to understand them a lot better. I know…it’s like I actually want to read God’s Word. So weird. (And when I’m feeling really gutsy, I even read stuff in the Old Testament. For fun! I know, it sounds crazy to me too. But turns out the Old Testament is full of crazy stories.)
What does any of this have to do with being shot out of a rocket? Well…part of our weekly schedule is to meet with Ben Monday – Wednesday evenings for study/discussion time. The guy wants to pour into us, equip us, prep us, teach us and help us for the journey ahead (and for our lives ahead.) Yeah, the guy is passionate about spreading the kingdom, and to be honest, his level of faith is challenging…because he is fully reliant on God, all the time, for everything. Crazy stories…and you wouldn’t believe his testimony if I told you. But when you see his…zeal is the only word I have…for serving Christ, well, it only makes sense he experienced everything he did. Seriously though….craziest testimony I ever heard.
So yeah…he’s pouring into me, challenging me (intentionally and unintentionally) and basically…he’s kicking off the World Race experience with a force that will only propel team lovebound forward into the world with serious velocity! Like being shot out of a cannon around the world. If we had met Ben at any other point in the race…the time we would have spent before encountering him wouldn’t have been all it could have been I think…that’s how much God is using this dude to impact us.
Hopefully this whole experience will lead to some fantastic stuff that will be hard for all you dear readers to believe. That’s one of my prayers anyway.
And though it’s all very thrilling and everything…more than anything it’s challenging. And hard, not fun challenging. The kind of thing I thought I’d encounter much later, and would be so enthusiastic about that I’d laugh in the face of challenge knowing it was only making me stronger. But it doesn’t feel anything like that. It’s discouraging, frustrating and confusing. But I know God is good, and that he’s using this time to sharpen our whole team…so I continue to press into Him for peace, understanding, strength, patience, grace, mercy forgiveness and love…and He has yet to abandon me.
Whew! Wow…still reading? You’re a trooper. Well done. Treat yourself to some ice cream or a pizza or something. Mmmmm……pizza. And speaking of treating yourself…enjoy the following video. You know, just as a bonus for making it this far.
