This story I read really describes how I am feeling right now…enjoy

It hardly seems possible that two years ago I was watching, more
than a little teary-eyed, as the official Peace Corps Land Cruiser pulled away
from my new home and headed slowly out of my village. I had heard stories of
Volunteers being dropped off in their new homes, only to go quickly chasing
after the vehicle exclaiming, “Wait-I’m not ready yet!” I had laughed at those
stories at the time, but as the Land Cruiser faded from sight, I felt a kinship
with those fabled Volunteers, understanding now how it felt to realize you were
on your own in a place that seemed so foreign to anything you had ever known.
With a combination of euphoria and trepidation, I waved one last goodbye at the
car that couldn’t even be seen anymore, turned, and walked slowly toward my
house to start my life as a Peace Corps Volunteer in Mahon, Burkina Faso.

It’s now two years later and last week I was the one driving away,
being waved at by a crowd of villagers as I officially ended my service and
said goodbye to the people who once seemed so foreign and now are so utterly
familiar. My last days in the village were amazing.  Although I always knew the people in Mahon
liked me well enough, their warm words and gestures over the past week were
unbelievably touching. Aside from imploring me to stay on and promising to do
their best to find me an African husband, they showed me with tanks, blessings,
tons and tons of peanuts, and five chickens! (My neighbor wanted to give me a
goat and seemed genuinely disappointed when I explained there was no way I
could transport a goat to the United States, let alone to the capital of
Burkina.) Although no official announcement had been made, somehow the entire
village seemed to know I was leaving soon, and thus I spent the better part of
the week repeating “Amina” (the traditional response meaning “Amen”) to such
benedictions as” “May God bless your parents for giving birth to you,” and “May
God keep you in good health and give you many children.” The villagers’ concern
and well-wishes for my family-people they had never eve4n met-only underscored
the warmth and hospitality for which the Burkinabe people are known. Aside from
the constant benedictions, the villagers also had a request for me: Il ne faut pas nous oublier.. Quite
simply, “Don’t forget us.” For me, this was a request that was impossible to
respond to; I did not know how to find the words to make them understand that I
could never forget them or their kindness-that these people will always have a
special place in my heart for opening up their village and their customs to me.

My last night in Mahon, the village threw an all-night party for me
outside my house. Celebrations that lasted until the wee hours of the morning
were the norm in Mahon, and my closest friends knew that I had never quite
mustered the stamina for these events and was usually in bed fairly early. But
in the days leading up to the party, I was told, “You are not going to get to
go to sleep this night!” And they were nearly right. For hours, we danced under
an African sky full of stars as the local balafon
(traditional xylophone) players performed their music.  Later, the theater group I had worked so hard
to establish staged their skits for the crowd. People kept asking me to get out
my camera and take photos and, although it was, the real reason was that I knew
pictures would never adequately capture the scene in front of me, never mind
all the emotions I was feeling. I closed my eyes and took a series of mental
snapshots
: the musicians’ hands moving furiously upon their instruments, the
circular conga-like like snaking around me, and the children on the edge of the
crowd giddily playing tag the way the kids in America would.

The next morning, I awoke early after a few hours of sleep. Mahon
was quiet. I had never once been awake before the villagers (or the roosters),
but this time, all was silent as I put the last of my things together and I
looked around my little house. Soon, a small crowd had formed outside, and 35
people escorted me to wait for the bus. When the bus pulled up, I was surprised
by my own emotions. During their two years of service, there are certainly many
moment s when Volunteers fantasize about going home, about finishing service
and saying, “I am done!” But now that that moment was finally here, it as a
hard reality to know that I may never see these people again.

The Burkinasbe have an interesting custom for goodbyes. When you
leave to go on a long journey, you must shake hands with the left hand.  This is quite significant because normally
doing anything with the left hand is culturally inappropriate and is actually
quite rude. But the custom holds that now you must shake hands with your left
hand because it indicated that you have to return at some point o rectify this
wrong. As the bus pulls up, my friend Clarisse held out her left hand for me to
shake. I felt as if I had been stabbed as it finally sunk in that this was
really goodbye
. This gesture was repeated over and over during a cacophony of
even more benedictions, more “Aminas,” more please not to forget the people of
the village, and mostly, my own repeating of “A n ice kossbe..a n ice..a n ice.”(Thank you for everything, thank
you.) The bus driver finally honked that it was time for me to board. By the
time I had said my last goodbyes and managed to load my things-chickens and
all-on the bus, I was quite a sight. Despite the fact that I had worked hard
during my two years to understand and adapt to local customs, this morning I couldn’t
help but break some of the rules. People in Burkina Faso do not cry in public.
Yet, here I was, walking onto a bus crowded with startled, staring African
passengers, crying like a baby.