There was a moment a few days ago where I completely had a melt down. I had been alone in the same house with no where to go, weak,& tired not being able to do anything for myself, hearing stories from my teammates and squadmates back on the field and how they were so deeply struggling , close friends back home that were more than struggling, I was beginning to feel the ‘shock’ of being back in the States and so much. So I prayed. One of the most valuable lessons I have learned from Thailand, was that prayer is not ‘the only thing we can do’ or ‘the last thing we can do’ but the best thing we can do. I cried out the my Lord for specifics as to why I was here. I know I am here to heal, but I knew there just had to me more.
He revealed to me exactly why I was here, what I am to be doing and who I was here for. It was as if he was painting a beautiful masterpiece right before me. I was mesmerized by what was being revealed. He put people in my path specifically for me to love and encourage. One was a friend of mine that called me. They brought so much relief and joy to me in that specific moment when I was ‘melting’ and then it was my role to encourage.
Then I saw that a fellow squadmate was online and was just robbed at gunpoint. My time was spent encouraging and loving her right where she was at. Though she and her team were thousands of miles from me, I was sent here to encourage and rally others around me to do the same.
Then I went to a college church service. I just needed to get out of the house and worship the one who is in complete control. As I got there a little early, I get out of my car to find another person who was shy, insecure and was also their for the first time. It became clear that I was not only here for me, but this young man. This man is a geek (so am I-engineering and math) and was terrified to be at this worship service. Quickly noticing all of this, we spent the evening together. We walked in together, talked in the lobby, and sat next to each other during the service.
It felt like I was translating and helping mesh two different ‘cultures’ that I was familiar with.
That night of worship was beyond beautiful. There was one instant where we sang:
“Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah Praise the Lord”
The music so loud you could not hear the person next to you. It was then that I just declared praises after praises of the victories that had been won the 7 months so far on the race. From the women in Thailand being freed from their life of bondage in the bars to the paralized woman who was healed and walked in Australia, to keeping team se7en safe after being robbed at gunpoint, to the Muslim woman who gave her life to the Lord in Malaysia etc… I went on for over 6 minutes just declaring these praises to the Lord.
It was exactly what I needed.
I needed to get back to the heart of God-worship, especially when times are so messy and hard.
