(Dec 20) We have arrived in Swaziland about 3 weeks ago, and I am loving every second of it. The Lord is teaching me so much about his love and faithfulness, but mostly to trust him. It’s around Christmas time so naturally people are talking about home a lot more, sometimes it’s hard to think about what I would be doing if I was at home right now. Probably out getting last minute shopping done, or watching ABC’s 25 days of Christmas and drinking hot chocolate with my family, but God obviously had something else planned for me this year. Though I do miss things about being at home, I am so blessed to be here in Africa staying at an orphanage for Christmas. I remember growing up my parents limited us to three gifts on Christmas day because they wanted us to focus on giving instead of getting. At the time I was young and annoyed at my parents for making this decision, but now I am thankful. I know it sounds cheesy and cliche but thats really what it should be about. There are people around the world that can not even afford to buy each other gifts. Here at the orphanage I asked a 17 year old girl Nozipho what she wanted for Christmas, and she said a dress. Just a dress. Something so simple could mean so much to her. This Christmas, focus on others and how you can bless them.
God is also showing me so much about trust. Here at the orphanage the children’s stories are almost unbearable to listen to. It actually breaks my heart hearing some them. For example, a 10 year old boy, Peewa, has been at El Shaddai since he was six. When Peewa was three his parents sold him into slavery. While he was working the fields at three years old the older boys sodomized him, regularly. When I first heard this I was filled with anger. How could his parents sell him into slavery at this age, or any age for that matter, and how could those boys do such a sick and evil thing to him? I was pissed at God for allowing this to happen. I got to talking to Peewa and I could not help thinking about how much pain he had gone through and probably still has to go through everyday. This is just one of the stories that my squad has to hear. It’s different hearing stories like this and getting angry but never knowing or seeing the person, but I live and play with these kids everyday. I see their past hurts manifested into their daily walk and it sickens me. Something that I am learning is that it is okay to be absolutely disgusted by all of this, it wouldn’t be normal if I didn’t feel this way, but, I HAVE to remind myself that God is so much bigger than all of it. All of the sin, shame, hurt, desperation, etc, Jesus carried that on the cross. He felt every single pain that I have ever felt, that you have ever felt, and that little Peewa has ever felt. And he is still in control. He is so much more powerful. He has always been good, He will always be good. In Hosea 6:1-3 it states “Come, let us return to the Lord; for He has torn us, that he may heal us; he has struck us down, and he will bind us up. After two days He will revive us; on the third day he will raise up, that we may live before him. Let us know; let us press on to know the Lord; He is going out as sure as the dawn; he will come to us as the showers, as the spring rains that water the earth.” He overcame death, He will overcome this pain. There is nothing else I can do but trust Him.
