I don’t think I’ll ever complain again about Wisconsin being “too hot” or about my shower only being lukewarm or not being about to use my favorite silverware because after you camp out in Georgia in the middle of July with bucket showers and culture shocks (so no silverware) you get a new perspective.
I went into camp filled with fear. Fear that I wouldn’t be able to set up my tent. Fear I would melt like a Popsicle. Fear people wouldn’t like me or that in some way God would tell me this actually isn’t where I’m supposed to be.
But I was wrong in the best ways possible. I didn’t melt, I gained 42 new brothers and sisters, and quickly did God reassure me this is exactly where I’m supposed to be.
Going into camp there was a lot of things that laid heavy on my heart that I was yearning for God to heal. Day one went by- nothing. Day two went by- nothing. Day three went by- still n o t h i n g. At this point I was like ok maybe my problems aren’t that big of a deal to Him. Again, I was wrong. Because day four came, and worship time came, and during the mix of it all my sweet friend, Anna, came over and said; “I feel God telling me to pray for you” AND THERE IT WAS! All the tears, all the doubt in my mind, all the feelings I didn’t know how to feel came crashing in like a wrecking ball.
God broke my heart into tiny pieces that night and filled me up with His love and grace. He told me my identity isn’t built on the love my dad forgot to give me, the drug abuse that crippled my family and broke my heart, the boys that loved my body but didn’t stay long enough to see my heart– No. He told me my identity is found in Him. In His eyes I am pure. I am beautiful. I am His beloved daughter and there is nothing from the Heavens to the Earth that could ever change the way He looks at me.
From this point on I promise to love and value myself, like He does. I promise to never let a single thought cross my mind about myself that is not of Him. For His spirit is within me and if He is enough… aren’t I?
I want to take a minute to thank each and every one of you that has supported me prayerfully and financially this far, for if it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t have received the reassurance my heart has been longing for. So, thank you for believing in me and God’s plan that He holds within me. YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!
