So this is like every world racer’s anthem.
And its great. We belted it out several times at training camp. We sing it in anticipation of our trip, we sing it in anticipation of how God will grow us, we sing it in anticipation of the challenges we’ll face, and we sing it in regards to fundraising. Or is that just me? Probably not.
When I first heard about the world race I was like, “Eleven countries in eleven months?! Heck freakin’ yes, sign me up!” I started my application. When I realized I’d have to raise about $17,000 to go I was like, “What? Oh…umm never mind then.”
Going to 11 countries in 11 months is not really scary to me, but raising $17,000? Terrifying. The town I grew up in is poor. My family has been experiencing significant financial hardship for the past three years. I have student loans to pay off. I have never had to raise money for anything before. So I told myself, “Forget about it LeAnn.” But I couldn’t stop thinking about the world race. I couldn’t stop thinking about the amazing opportunities I’d have to share the love of Christ, the many cultures I’d be immersed in, the epic journey I’d go on (literally and metaphorically). I could not forget about it.
Then someone on staff at AIM called me. I think his name was Matt. He said, “Would you like to discuss with me any questions or hesitations you may have about the world race?” And I said, “Yes. I want to go, I think it would be amazing. But honestly, there is no way I can come up with that amount of money.”
God spoke through Matt. He said, “LeAnn, if you want to do the world race, if you feel led to it, and feel like God wants to work through you in this way, and use it to grow you, you just need to do it. Trust God to take care of the money and do it.”
I replied with, “Wow. Okay. I think I’ll finish my application now.”
When I first began to feel led overseas for this season, the verse God brought to my attention was Isaiah 6:8. This is when Isaiah sees God in the temple, and answers His call. God used this verse to show me what my attitude should be, no matter where He calls me.
Then I heard the Lord asking, “Whom shall I send as a messenger to this people? Who will go for us?”
I said, “Here I am. Send me.”
God wants a willing and surrendered heart. This has been one of my favorite verses for a long time. I put it on my graduation cap when I finished college. That was before I even knew about the world race. After my conversation with Matt that day, God reminded me of it again. He told me, “LeAnn, I want your attitude toward fundraising to be as willing as your attitude toward going. Trust me.”
And I said, “Oh man, that’s pretty scary, but okay God. I trust You.”
I’ve been trusting, and trusting, and trusting. Just when I think its impossible for me to trust God more, He pushes me deeper into the ocean of trust. Sometimes its terrifying. But when I choose to rest in God’s power and trust in Him, He gives me peace. Peace that transcends all understanding.
I was able to meet my first deadline early, but since then its been harder to fundraise. I don’t know why. Some of my squad-mates are already fully funded, but I am still $2,240 short of meeting my deadline this week even though I’ve been obedient to God in fundraising. I don’t know the reason for that either. Yesterday I had a big fundraising event. I worked my hind end off getting it ready. My town is small, so I was tempted to not expect much, but God is BIG, so I chose to expect much. I set a goal of $2,000. Not many people came. At the end of the day, after cutting my losses, I raised about $320, a lot less than I had hoped for.
I was hurt and confused. “God, I trusted you. I came into this event with absolute faith in you. I trusted you to raise more money than I thought was possible today, and you didn’t. I don’t understand.”
Fundraising is my ocean. Its mysterious, scary, and dangerous. I can’t always see what’s ahead. It is where God has called me out upon the waters…where feet may fail. Its where I’m finding Him in the mystery. Its where I am learning to let my soul rest in his embrace. It is where he is showing me that I belong to him, and he to me. It is most definitely where my faith is being made stronger.
There is so much about this whole process that I just do not understand, but here’s what I do know:
- I am called to the world race. I am called to G-squad, and Gladiators.
- God is all powerful. He is bigger than money.
- God is going to fund my world race in whatever way teaches me to trust and depend on Him the most.
- God is going to fund my world race in whatever way brings Him the most glory.
Like I said earlier, we sang “Oceans” a lot at training camp. The week after I got home, I couldn’t get the line “You’ve never failed, and you won’t start now” out of my head. God will never fail. He will not fail me. “God is saying that you’re his beautiful daughter. He’s got you now. And he won’t let you go.” Those words were spoken over me by a trainer at camp. They are true. So I trust him. I am choosing to trust him, and I am choosing peace.
If you are able to give, please do.
