It’s been far too long since my last post and I wanted to update all of you on life…Which has been crazy busy.
I’m one of those people you might refer to as “busy” or “really involved.” Or, if you know me really well, you might call me “overcommitted.” A few weeks ago, for example, a dear friend of mine referred to me as a social butterfly, quickly corrected himself, then called me an over committed butterfly. A strong desire to support efforts, programs, and people that I believe in, paired with a fervent loyalty and commitment to my word usually results in me being really busy. It isn’t unusual for me to have small group or a coffee with a friend before work, work all day (using my lunch break to hang out with a friend), go straight from work to another activity or two, finally getting home in the late evening. THEN I start working on WR preparations and raising support.
I want to make this clear: I’m not whining. I THRIVE on social interactions, and I am often happiest and healthiest when my schedule is stuffed full of friends and activities. Over the past few years I’ve discovered that, for me, it’s a very fine line between “happy, healthy, socially-involved Laura” and 'over committed, stressed-out, tired (and thereby a little cranky) Laura.” Unfortunately, however, I’ve only discovered that a fine line exists, I haven’t actually succeeded in determining where that line resides.
Since I’ve begun preparations for the WR, I feel like my busyness level has skyrocketed, especially since I spend a lot of time thinking about what gear I need to buy or how I need to prepare myself spiritually, emotionally, practically (re-learning Spanish), and physically (working on getting rid of that nasty ol’ caffeine addiction). I have also been spending a lot of time raising support. Even during the application process, I was very comfortable with the idea of raising support for the race, and I was very confident that if God intended for me to go on the race, He would provide the necessary financial support. Fast forward two months- I’m not doing a good job of trusting God with this one. I find myself spending many of my free moments at home sending out more support emails (I’m trying to do the majority of my support raising this way), buying copies of my support letter, making lists of who to send it to, creating a FB group… etc. I feel like a hot mess.
So what’s God teaching me? I’m still not totally sure if I can articulate it yet. I know it has something to do with resting and intentionally seeking Him, both of which are closely related for me. I’ve been so busy and over committed that my relationship with Him has become passive, like that really close friend you don’t hang out with when you’re busy because you know they’ll be there when you “find time.” I’m coming to the realization that my life is incredibly out of balance since I’ve slowly fallen into the habits of pursuing life before pursuing God. I’m working on both of these things, and by God’s grace, maybe I’ll get better at them.
As always, though, I’m doing pretty well. Life is good and I feel blessed beyond what I could ever deserve. Stay tuned, I’ll keep letting you know how things are coming. Thanks for taking the time to read my post and journey with me today!
