My thoughts just racing an this post is kind of a mess-
I don't want to think about all the celebrations, engagements, family vacations, holidays, weddings,parties etc that I won't be here to join. And when I come back everything could be so much different from when the day I departed.
When I departed my family and friends for a year
When I departed the comfortable life
When I departed from having my own space
In reality I'm not really missing out on anything, if I wasn't going to do the race
because I was too scared for change
because I didn't want to leave my friends and family
because I didn't have the full $15,500 before launch
because a relationship may have tied me down. Being single is a time to focus on your relationship with God on your own.
I would actually be missing out on an incredible journey that God has planned for me, the journey that God has called me to do, the team and time that God specifically told me to go on
I would be missing out on the change that would happen in my life.
I would be missing out on the impact in the world
I would be missing out on the challenges that would make me grow
I would be missing out on all the amazing stories and testimonies
I would be missing out on all the people that God would bring into my life.
Just at times I get this thought will my friends miss me or will they just forget me. Sometimes it really scares me. I feel like it's satan just attacking me and telling me little lies to try to stop me. But it's honestly been on my mind lately. And that's probably the hardest thing ever about me leaving and not having very communication much with friends. I guess it's a blessing in disguise so I can focus on the new relationships in my life at that moment and the life that I'm living at that moment.
But I know friendships and relationships with family may be different in some ways and difficult at times. It could be one the most difficult aspects of coming back home but not to mention being back in the "american life". But we need to stand up for what we believe God is calling each of us to do and believe with our whole heart that God will bring us together to reunite it may be different but it's still all amazing to see the changes and see how people have grown in the last year. After the World Race I pray to come home and be completely different person.I don't want to be on that "camp high" but stay constant in my relationship with God, with prayer, and encouragement, having that desire to know more about God everyday. I pray that my friends no longer see the old laura but the new and changed laura.
Just some thoughts that are going through my head right now.
