I had no idea how hard it would be to dedicate myself to this race entirely. Didn't know I would feel attacked my the enemy on a daily basis and just fighting for what I feel like God has planned for a season of my life for such a time as this.
There's been a few things in my life that i'm positive that it's what God has called me to do and this race is one of those exciting adventures that I know that this is for me at this specific time for a purpose.
God, Why is this so hard for me to handle? Why am I stressing so much over this?
I sometimes tend to think about all the struggles, trials, frustrations, stressful times, hard times and asking God why it has to be so different since he is in the center of this entire plan. Why can't it just be simple? Why can't 15,500 dollars just land in my lap? But then realizing that God never promised an easy life, He didn't say it would be easy to commit to this journey but instead God brings struggles into our life to make us stronger individuals in the end. That it's all possible as long as we have God in the center of everything. If God just let money fall from the sky then how can I epend on Him to provide? I wouldn't have to faith that he would provide every cent if he made it that simple for me to get the funds.
Some days I just feel like quitting, giving up on all the fundraising, giving up on all the opportunities God would have for me, forgetting about my Squad and the lasting friendships i'd make with amazing people.
What would my life look like without the World Race?
Staying here with family and friends, No stress of fundraising, No goodbyes, No tears, All the little things I overwhelm myself with.
But no World race means no R Squad, just settling with the easy life, Running away from all the stressful times.
Doesn't mean that if God called me to stay here instead that there wouldn't be hard times, stressful times, times like giving up. The enemy attacks anywhere and everywhere it doesn't have to be overseas or preparing for a missions trip. He attacks in any way possible wherever you're at.
I know God is calling me, This is exactly where God wants me and everything will be ok.
God answers that question that I have daily about why it's so hard?
These struggles i'm facing just makes me rely on God with every worry, struggle, trials, burden. Through all of this I've needed to depend on God and less on myself. God is bigger and stronger and he can handle anything that. I realized that God has ben preparing me to go on the World Race for awhile now, preparing me through struggles here at home. Lately feeling like I can't o this on my own that I can ask for help from friends that God has blessed me with over the years and over the months. Basically through this time trusting God with my whole heart and not having doubts of getting the funds or any worries. Through this God will show me beautiful things through these major struggles. God will come through and he will make me a much stronger daughter of His own.
Sometimes I worry more about all the struggles, the fundraising etc and not go to God to help. And not see all the good things that are coming through this adventure. And at the perfect moment God shows me that I don't need to worry about the funds especially because he leads unexpected people to financially. It blesses my life and pushes me to just give everything to God, because when things are in His hands things are possible and he will provide in ways that seem impossible.
