(The rooftops of El Tizate, Guatemala)
October 19th; Marco is sitting next to me in the kitchen.
“This arrived in the mail today; just in time! ” He lets out one of his boisterous laughs.
I stare over at the package in his hands, reading the return address.
“Fideles Ossom”
Marco pulls out a couple of dvds and a paper, handing it to our team leader to read.
Josh starts in.
The page is a press release, telling all of Mr. Ossom’s prestigious education and acclaims. Five degrees, a pastor of his own church, TV appearances, etc.
“This man will pray over you for your gifts!” Marco tells us excitedly.
We were all pretty curious to meet this man, and even more so, now that he would be coming to us, rather than having to drive hours back to Coban where all of his appearances for the week were to be held.
Later that evening…
We’re down in Marco’s unfinished basement; the night is wrapping up. Fideles has arrived and called a few people to stand up to be prayed over. Others stood up on their own.
He is getting ready to leave. Everyone in the room has been prayed over at this point.
I want him to pray over me.
More so, I want God to tell him to pray over me.
I’m deep in prayer, apologizing to God for an issue that has been plaguing me since day one of my walk with Christ- a lack of courage. I apologize for not being more bold with people from my past. My friends back home, all those people from from high school, from college that I so dearly love; I’ve been afraid of loosing them, of letting go. I’ve been afraid to tell them about the new love in my life. Rather than screaming it from the rooftops, my love affair with Jesus has been something I’ve felt I’ve had to keep secret from so many people…
Jesus in America, in many circles, has such a twisted, mutilated image. He’s an automobile air freshener,
a bobbly-head figurine in the back of your car, a kitchy figurine on a cross, hanging in the place of utmost dishonor above a toilet. “Jesus Saves” is a plastic piggy bank to keep your weed money. He’s anything but the Savior of the world.
To be a “Christian” in America means you are akin to a cartoon character. You are like Homer Simpson’s crazy neighbor, trying to convert everyone you come in contact with. You are a Fox news addict. You’re deemed intolerant of muslims, homosexuals, and societal deviants. You are a raging republican.Your intelligence is questioned for imagining life after death, and heaven forbid you actually believe in that Creation cacophony! For thinking that we are not all there is, that there is a God, and that 2,000 years ago the Roman empire crucified a man who would atone for all the sins of the word…YOU’RE CRAZY.
For awhile I was secluded from the harsh criticism of Christianity in my Korean cocoon, but being home for a couple of months between life in Asia and now, I did all I could to avoid those hard conversations.
This fear of pleasing others rather than pleasing God was eating me up inside. I was feeling like I failed, as a Christian, and as a friend.
The fear has held me captive to bad habits, and sadness, and being closed off with my team.
That night the chains were beginning to break, one by one through the voice of our strange visitor…
“Please, give me a word through this man.” I most sincerely ask God.
Reluctantly I stand, raising my hands in surrender to God.
Fideles prayed, but HE SPOKE:
“I know your pain, I know what you’ve been through…”
Tears.
“The hurt, the slander, the ridicule. You’ve been made to feel belittled for My Name. I want you to know that you will not sit on the sidelines anymore…”
HE CONTINUED,
but all I could hear or feel was, “YOU ARE LOVED, YOU ARE MINE, YOU ARE LOVED, YOU ARE LOVED…”
How could this be? This man whom I had met not more than an hour ago, spoke words over me that were filled with such truth, about my past and my future. He spoke words full of so much life and love. There’s no possible way this man could speak those words beyond the realm of the supernatural… the Holy Spirit.
A verse echos in my mind as I recall that night,
“If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”
Matthew 7:11
~Our team with Mr. Fideles Ossom~
