After spending my lifetime in the United States, I have
become exceptionally aware of the pressures that our society has built around
image, status and wealth. It
doesn’t take long to find yourself imprisoned in the desire to be accepted. It
is easy to get lost in the furry of staying up to date on the hottest cars,
latest clothing trends and attempting to finally discover the one weight loss
program that really works!
I have always attributed our obsession with image to our
economic environment and the fact that we live in a first world country. I had deduced that our desire to be
someone that we aren’t, was directly correlated to the abundance of money we
have. Why do we spend so much time trying to be something other than
ourselves? What are we pretending
for? Who’s approval are we really trying to get?
Since I have been in a third world country, I have found
that money is certainly a contributing factor to this phenomenon, but not the
sole catalyst to our insecurities.
While in the Philippines I have seen the desire of “wanting what we
don’t have” run rampant- to my surprise, just as much as in the United States.
My first experience with this was when walking down the street,
I found myself being stared at, whistled at, followed by people giggling and
waving, and almost causing car accidents because motorists are more interested
in watching us than paying attention to the traffic in front of them. When
trying on a pair of shoes at a department store, I found myself surrounded by a
large crowd of onlookers as if I was some strange exhibit at the zoo. Being the
minority felt lonely and awkward. I knew I stuck out and was sure that most
people were looking down on me, making fun of me, and amused by my foreign ignorance.
As time passed, I started to realize that I wasn’t being looked at as if I was
stupid, but it seemed as if I was special in some way, as if I was on a
pedestal of importance…. almost as if I was some sort of famous celebrity. What
was going on?? How could this be?
When going into the grocery store, I found some clarity to
my confusion….as I entered the
toiletries section I noticed that every bottle of lotion was advertising “Extra
Whitening Cream.” What!!?? All these years I have been longing for
a tan and been embarrassed of my whiteness and these people are using cell
repair cream to bleach out their skin!?
Is that why all the Filipino women were carrying umbrellas? – To keep the
sun from browning their skin? I now understand why I was getting so much more
attention – I am the whitest person on my team!
Through this undeserved attention, God has shown me that we
are all subject to the same insecurities, no matter what country you live in or
how much money you have. The fear of rejection is holding people captive in
every country I have been in thus far, and I pray that we can all break the
chains that have a stronghold on our image and self worth. We must love ourselves and walk in
freedom for God to use us to bring life to other people. We must love ourselves and see
ourselves as Christ sees us.
” You are like
whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are
full of dead men’s bones and everything unclean.” Matthew 23: 27
Do you spend your time trying to look good on the outside but
secretly you are dying on the inside?
I have realized that there are places inside myself that needed to come
back to life that were in darkness- and God has restored these areas once
again. I pray that God restores and
fills us all with desire to be as beautiful on the inside as we are on the
outside.
