I could just sit for hours and just think. Let my thoughts spiral into other thoughts, ideas bouncing off one another. Sometimes I do do this. Lately, I’ve been doing it a lot but not always on purpose.
I kind of feel like my brain is a composition of really random thoughts that just pop up every so often. It’s been hard to have coherent thoughts lately. I think it’s because I’ve been super pensive with just trying to process through everything I’ve done and seen this past year. It’s quite a lot to think through! I’ve wanted to further explore these thoughts and then share them with you, but the sparatic-ness of my mind has not died down yet like I expected it to. So, here are some of the things that have been running through my head: [these are just thoughts… some may seem crazy, but I never said I wasn’t 😛 ]
To believe in a God that not only created this whole universe, but cares about the inner workings of my heart is something I have tried to wrap my head around, but (go figure) I can’t. I have been learning and hearing about Him my whole life, so the enormity of it all must have slipped me by. Like seriously, thinking about a Being that has always existed, with no beginning (no beginning!) that has always been, is just crazy! And to think that He is GOOD. How fantastic is that! God who is God, above everything, Creator of everything, is good. We have no control over anything, we are just SO blessed that He is really and truly a GOOD God. Unlike those mythological movies you see with moody and selfish greek gods. Wow, praise Him He is not like them. All the stories we read and movies we watch where we feel on edge as we’re taken through the plot and then experience peace because the good guy wins… i think there’s so much to that. It’s parallel to the way of our God – He’s given us this life with so many things happening and many of them bad because of the fall, but in the end, good wins. He wins. And deep within our hearts, we all know that’s how it is, how it’s meant to be. We are full of unrest when stories end in any other way. Man, even things man thinks we’ve made up, its all still come from Him. Like writing a story and it having a plot. We wouldn’t know what a story was if we weren’t given the greatest story ever from our Maker.
I love how there is spiritual symbolism in everything. The way flowers turn towards the sun. The way you can hear, feel, and see the wind moving things but you cannot see the wind. Even disney movie storylines like Tangled. I could discuss this for hours and would love to if anyone’s up for it 🙂
I tell you, if ants were human sized, they’d take over the world.
The fact that God can redeem anything shows so much of who He is, how big He is. Which makes me think of how we try not to box Him in, but being humans with a brain capacity that doesn’t allow us to fathom Him, we do. Which frustrated me for a while, but I think being content with trusting He is who He is and not having to grasp everything us to greater levels of faith. This year my view of God has changed a lot. He feels closer to me than ever before, and at the same time He feels bigger to me than ever before.
I also think that every single thing was created with a dance. For Orcas, it’s spy hopping (their different ways of jumping out of the water). Butterflies don’t just fly, they flutter and float in a dance of freedom. Trees dance in the rythem of the breeze. Every culture of people dances.
(take a peek at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlfKdbWwruY )
I’ve gotten to meet and get to know some amazing people. I’ve gotten to share life with people and gotten to know some beautiful hearts. I just wish I could spend all my time with them, because however long we have together…
…a month…
…a year…
…a whole lifetime…
…its just not enough! I love different things about them and how they are all different! And the craziest thing is that even how awesome they are, God created them all. HE is even more awesome than the people I love. Imagine how caring and so so so funny God is. He must have a HUGE sense of humor if He’s created people so funny. And the fact that everyone loves to laugh. He is perfect, and so the definition of caring and loving. He’s given these qualities to some people, but He IS love. He IS joy, peace, patience, gentleness, kindness…
I’ll never understand most things in the Universe, but I sure love wondering about it. I love thinking about Who God is. I love wondering what He was up to before this world began. I love wondering what else is far beyond what our telescopes can’t see. I love thinking about His sense of humor and picturing a horse or a puffin in the spiritual realm sitting right in the middle of our circles during feedback. hehe. We just never know!
