I’ve spent the last three days trying to post pictures on Facebook and Instagram. The failure left me frustrated and full of anxiety. I see my squad-mates posting pictures depicting the beauty of the land or the satisfaction of ministry, and I wanted to be able to give that to my friends and supporters as well.
However, the void inside due to my lack of ability to share pictures with the world back home (should have been) was a red flag to me //
I’ve been studying 2 Kings in my morning quiet time. The book leaves me in awe of the miracles God performed as well as aware of the reverence and wrath of the Lord. I begun to hear a repetitive message from him: “there is so much more.” There is so much more that He wants to give us — miracles that we will see if only we ask. There is also so much more that He wants from us. There’s a wall between us, a separation from what He wants to do and what we’re giving Him. So I asked Him, “Lord what am I holding back from You?”
The answer I had already been given, yet refused to accept. (Isn’t it funny how often this occurs?)
“Give it all to me. You pray to go deeper; you ask for more. Are you willing to give it all up to go there with me?”
Yet we rationalize the thing that He wants CAN’T be what’s separating us from Him. We even begin to ration with Him — anything but that Lord.
// In this moment I realized what He was trying to take out of my tightly gripped hands was an addiction. The desire to share with the world what I am experiencing had become an addiction. I allowed the expectation of pictures and updates be an excuse to choose time on social media over time with my team, my squad, and the people of the DR that God has placed right in front of me.
Yet, it was truly a much more selfish reason than I was willing to admit —
I came into the World Race with the idea that my social media life was finally going to be everything I wanted it to be — popular, artsy, full of missions & travel. I worried how pictures affected my image — too many beautiful pictures and we’re on vacation instead of a mission trip; too many pictures of the tough environment or with children and I’m seeking praise for myself instead of praise for God.
Yet, the things we show the world on social media are not a true depiction of who we are. We only show the highlights, mountaintops, & edited versions of ourselves — those parts we desire others to see as our identity.
When we live this way, we rob ourselves and others the opportunity to meet us in our brokenness, grow with us, and love us for who we truly are. We set ourselves and others up for failure, for “Comparison is the thief of joy.”
The truth is that “sometimes the Lord’s blessings are just for us” – Steven Furtick — Therefore, every sunset, ministry event, or revelation doesn’t need to be shared.
{{I came on the race to be used by God, wrecked by God, and stretched by God.}}
So, I am fasting from social media for a while.
I’m going to full-heartedly invest in my relationship with the Lord and those around me.
I will send some form of communication — blogs, emails, messages, or calls when I have wifi available. However, I will no longer give up God given opportunities to fight over wifi for hours at a time.
I’m going to ask all of you to trust me and whoever joins along in this, that we are serving our Father and being stretched in many ways here — even when we aren’t plastering it all over social media.
Thank you, greater than words can express, to all of you who have prayed and given to me get here today. Please continue to do so.
Your world racer,
KP
