Ok, well I have been totally avoiding blogs this year……for two reasons 1) Because they make me totally miss the race which makes me ugly cry:( and 2) It makes me question whether or not i am doing the right stuff.
HA….this sounds funny to me written out, maybe this is why God put it on my heart to blog. Wow its all coming together:)
Yep so #2 made me question am I really pursuing the dream God has given me. Hmmm….what is the dream God has given me? Well I have always wanted to become a doctor and I got pretty discouraged with my MCAT (test you need to take to get into med school) score and kind of have not tried too hard on that front because I have been scared of failure, which seems to be a popular battle among young folks. I also found myself surrendering that dream on the race because I had made a silent pact with God that if he taught me about healing then I would have no use for going into med school. Well I actually got healed on the race from an allergy to red dye! Yep….so there went medical school all surrendered up. But after the race I did find myself still loving health care and still wanting to work in a hospital. I had a revelation that I could do several other jobs and work in a hospital….awesome! So then i pondered being a paramedic….unsuccessful. Then what about doing epidemiology …..definitely a possibility but the school near me had no focus on infectious disease…so a no go. Then i tried to fit myself into all these cookie cutter things…..yeah like that works:) Pause** THank you God for always looking out for me and for being patient. Wow if I could learn to be patient that would be huge***Play.
After all this contemplating and seeking it really came down to my motivations. Yes I could be a doctor but what would drive me to be in school for another 6yrs. Yes I could be a paramedic or epidemiologist but where am I going with that to make a living? Why am I doing all of this? Am I doing all this to have a “better” life? Hmmm…too bad I don’t value money to the point of motivation. This year I have been working as a pharmacy technician which reminded me why I want to be in healthcare because I get to be around sick people:) And If I am not in health care I feel like I would miss out on the prayer opportunities with them. I have got to pray over a handful of people, but I have lost my edge in asking people if they want prayer but I have finally again opened my heart again for God to work on me in how I can serve the sick for Him.
more to come….
