I know I’ve already posted several blogs about Tanzania, but
it was such an incredible month that I still have so many more blogs I could
write. But, for the sake of time, and to save my subscribers from a bazillion
update emails, I’ll just post one more.
But it’s a big one.
I want to tell you about a day that literally changed my life.
It happened one night at the crusade. It was such a unique
opportunity for World Racers – we were at a crusade as simply attendees. We
didn’t preach, we didn’t sing, we didn’t pray over people, we weren’t special
guests. We were just there. And it’s
so rare on the race to have an opportunity like that, so I was taking full
advantage of it.
On Saturday night the preacher told us that he felt that the
Holy Spirit was going to move that night, and it doesn’t matter if you were
from Kenya, Tanzania or North America, but if you wanted to be prayed over to
come up to the front. He said that the Lord told him to pray more anointing
over the people who stepped forward.
More anointing? Well, I’m up for that. I want more of the
Holy Spirit. I want more of what the Lord has in store for me. So I went
forward. Then the preacher then announces that he knows that there was going to be a physical manifestation of the
Holy Spirit there that night.
I know that term looks and sounds kinda scary. A physical manifestation of the Spirit.
But I know it happens – it’s in the Bible countless times. It’s when the Holy
Spirit is seen, felt, or heard in a tangible way here on Earth. And I know
several people who have witnessed experiences like this. Even on the race I’ve
seen physical manifestations, mostly through healings (although this was 2 days
before the village trip).
But I have been praying for months and months that I would see,
feel, or hear the Lord in a tangible way for a personal revelation. It goes
back to the blogs I wrote about learning to accept God’s love for me. Since
about that time I have had this deep desire to fully experience the Holy
Spirit. I wanted to feel, see, or hear
Him personally.
Anyway, rabbit trail, kinda. Back to the crusade.
So, I’m standing at the back of this crowd of people who
went forward for more anointing, and I could feel this shift in the crowd as
we’re all ready for whatever the Lord has for us that night. And I’ll never
know what the rest of the crowd experienced because as soon as the preacher
counted to three I was lost in the Lord.
I felt four winds hit me, one from each direction. They gathered at my
feet and created a whirlwind that swirled up, around my body, and up into the
sky. But when it passed my heart I felt something blow away, and I felt the Holy Spirit just fill its
place. And immediately I knew that I was finally free of fear.
Up until this point in my life I had been living with a lot
of fear. And most of it is fear that most North Americans have, and is
considered reasonable, or even normal. A fear of being judged, a fear of being
left out, a fear of standing out too much, of blending into the crowd, of being
forgotten, of letting people down, of disappointing people. I’ve even struggled
most of my life with enochlophobia (fear of crowds). These are all fears that I
have heard many other people express, but all fears that I was fed up of. I
have seen many of my teammates walk through freedom from these fears, and for
so long I wanted to join them in that freedom.
And that night when the wind blew around me I instinctively
knew that the fear I had been living in was gone. Just like that, it was completely gone.
And it is. Gone, that is. Since that moment I haven’t been
gripped by any irrational fears. God has still given me wisdom, discernment,
and common sense so I’m not wandering off into dangerous situations or anything
like that. But if I am uneasy about a certain street when we’re walking, I know
is because of discernment and not because of fear.
When we are walking to church and the pastor asks me if I’m
ready to preach (and I only have 5 minutes to prepare a 45 minute sermon), I am
not afraid of man and I can stand up, listen to the Holy Spirit, and speak what
is laid on my heart.
I no longer wake up in the middle of the night in fear. Now
that the Lord has taken my fears away I can rest soundly in the fact that He is
taking care of my family at home.
When I make a mistake, I take it as a learning experience. I
no longer hide away because I’m afraid I’ve let people down.
My spirit can rest much easier when the Lord doesn’t always
give me the words to say, because I know that it’s just a season for my
teammates, and I am not afraid of being forgotten.
So much fear. And now it’s all gone.
This month will be a test of that, though. My team is going
to be going to a closed country this month. In fact, after several delays, we
are finally going to be crossing the border this afternoon. We are going to a
place where evangelism is illegal and Christians are persecuted for their faith.
Due to safety for ourselves, our contacts, and our translators, I will not be
able to tell you where I am going. But I know that this month the enemy will be
trying to attack me with fear. There is a heavy atmosphere of fear over this
country, and many of the believers there live under constant fear. But my new
favourite verse is Romans 8:15, which promises that we do not have to live in
fear because we are heirs to the Kingdom of God. This month I will be walking in the freedom
that comes from being God’s child.
14 For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children
of God. 15 The Spirit you
received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the
Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry,”Abba,
Father.” 16 The Spirit
himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. 17 Now if we are
children, then we are heirs-heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we
share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.
