Who knew that God could teach me so much in so little time?
The last four days have been a little bit of emotional and spiritual overload. God taught me so much and broke down so many walls in my life that by Sunday night I was exhausted, but feeling closer to God than ever. It’s amazing how God uses what is important to His children to teach them.
I am passionate about playing the piano. I’ve often said that it is one of the only things that can always relax me and help me gather my thoughts. So I’ve really missed my piano for the last 2 ½ months and I’ve been praying that God would give me an opportunity to play piano. I guess I should have been more specific in my prayers because He gave me a piano, but not in the way I was hoping. Instead of just being able to play for myself, I was asked to fill in for the pianist on the worship team. And since I’ve been missing the piano so much I immediately said yes.
Lesson Number One: Humility 
Thursday night was the first practice and it was a complete mess. I was sharply reminded why I don’t play piano on the worship team at home. I play mostly classical piano and it is extremely difficult for me to play worship music. Particularly when there is no piano sheet music and I am asked to play from guitar chords.
I walked into that room expecting to be able to jump right on in and worship with the team but was awakened to the sharp reality that I could not do it. I was completely humbled. I was in a room of experienced musicians, some of them professionals even, and they were all looking at me to play what I could not play. It was incredibly difficult and humbling.
Lesson Number 2: God Answers Prayers
After the disastrous practice I was very discouraged, so my teammate Joy prayed with me about it. Among other things we prayed that the practice on Saturday would be easier, that they would cut down the number of songs, and that they could find piano music for me (they said they would try).
Saturday morning comes around and we go to the house of the regular pianist. He offered to give me a crash course in playing for worship since he couldn’t be there the next day. And when we sit down to the keyboard, I find out that they have cut the number of songs they want to play from 9 to 3. All three of the songs the keyboardist has written out into a format I can understand, and has simplified two of the songs that I could play them through first try. The third song was still very difficult, but I had six hours to learn it on Saturday. God really does answer prayers!
Lesson Number 3: It’s not About Me
God taught me a lot these last three days but maybe the most important, and the most difficult, is that it’s not about me. It’s all about God, and His glory. If He is going to give me a piano, it is to glorify Him. I have given my life to Christ and with that comes a commitment to do everything for His glory. God reminded me of that this week because it is definitely something that I had been forgetting in my life.
After God broke me of my pride, my insecurities surfaced. I started to panic and started to convince myself that I couldn’t do it. I felt like I was in a lose-lose situation. If I played, I would screw up the entire worship service and let everyone down. If I didn’t play I would be a quitter, and let everyone down. But God really spoke to me and pointed out that I was worrying about what others thought of me way too much. He had asked me to worship and glorify Him by playing in the worship band so why was I worried about what other people were thinking. He asked me to give an offering of the talents I have. It is that simple. It’s not about showing off my piano playing skills, whether good or bad, or putting on a good show. He was asking me to praise him with everything I have. Because it is not about me, it has never been about me and it never will be about me. It’s about worshipping my King.
After that, my whole attitude and perspective shifted. My father and my king asked me to do something, so I was going to do it. I knew I couldn’t do it without Him. But I also knew that if this is really what He wanted me to do then He would be with me and He would work in and through me to bring others into a place of worship. After all, that is what the worship team is all about – ushering in an atmosphere to bring others into a place of worship. So when I let go of control and just allowed to use me everything became a lot more fun.
