So many things have occurred within the last few days. It has been a little overwhelming.
Friday morning we believe my grandmother may have had a minor stroke. I was at home with her and took her to the ER. She is still in the hospital and will hopefully be able to come home today. We shall see.
Saturday night and Sunday morning we had a fundraiser for The World Race. Thank you everyone who supported! We raised $1,250!
Yesterday was my last Sunday with my home church for at least the next eleven months. I have gone there for twenty-five years.
I will not see the majority of them. until I return.
They have watched me grow up. They have been there for me through many trials and triumphs. It was difficult to say goodbye to them.
When I return I may be back, but it could have been the last time I will lead music at my home church. God used the Praise Team as a way to bring me back to him when I was far away. He used it to heal me and to minister to the people in my church. They laid hands and prayed over me at the end of service.
My pastor spoke to me after church about my grandma and said that my mom, grandma, and I need to discuss what I am going to do if my grandma passes while I am gone.
I spoke with her about it yesterday afternoon. She said if something happens she wants me to stay where I am. I asked if she wanted me to be there for her funeral if the worse happens and she said if I was not able to come that it did not matter because she would not be there. She has a great sense of humor and sometimes a neat way of looking at things. She said she will see me again. She was talking about heaven.
My grandmother has impacted my life greatly. She prays for me daily.
When I first left my ex-husband and moved back home I did not have a bed so my grandma shared her bed with me. Every night I heard her whispering her quiet and humble prayers to God. She has taught me about serving and loving others. So when she passes, whether while I am on the race or not, I will be sad, I will cry, and I will grieve. I will also rejoice because she will be better off. I will be able to rejoice. It will not be goodbye. It will be see you later. Like my grandmother said, I am strong and I will be fine no matter what happens.
My grandmother and I have traveled to many places together and have made so many wonderful memories together and I will be able to cherish them forever.
If she passes during the race then I do not know how I will be. However, God will get me through it. I will see her again. I am at peace with it. Do I like the idea of her dying while I am around the world? No.
However, she said God has this task in store for me and I must complete it.
Someone asked me if I was going to change my plans because of my grandmother. I said, “Why would I change my plans? God has called me to do something and I must do it.”
The Cost of Following Jesus
57 As they were walking along the road, a man said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.”
58 Jesus replied, “Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.”
59 He said to another man, “Follow me.”
But he replied, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.”
60 Jesus said to him, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.”
61 Still another said, “I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say goodbye to my family.”
62 Jesus replied, “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”
The disciples did not have the opportunity to say goodbye or even Skype.
One man even wanted to bury a family member before following Jesus.
If I tried to take care of everything that needed to be done the list would never end and I would miss out on the sweet plans God has in store for me.
I do not want to miss out on His plans because they are always so much better than my own.
God does not want us to wait when He calls us and try to do this and that. We must act immediately and follow. I put my hope, my worries, and my trust in God and I have to have faith that He will take care of my family while I am away doing the things He has set out for me.
It is all sinking in that I will be away from my family and friends for eleven months and it all begins in less than two weeks.
One chapter has ended and another is about to begin. I am sitting on the blank page in between. Waiting. Waiting for the race to begin.
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