As I was reading James the other night, I reread James 1:22 several times. It says, “But don’t just listen to god’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise you are only fooling yourselves”, and then it goes on to say in verse 27, “pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you”. I keep getting the call. Daily. In fact, I think if I look back at the past few years, I think that I have been getting it for quite some time. But, like most of us, it took some time to realize the call when I heard it. One of the most beautiful things has happened in the midst of this experience. My desires, my wants, are lining up with the spirits will—and I am sure. In the past, it has been hard for me to distinguish the difference between my own voice and what I want, and what the Lord wants for me—what the spirit is saying. But in this decision to go on the race, I have gotten to see those two things align. And it’s freedom like nothing else, to know that I am living both in His will, and my dreams.
I read something a while ago that said, “it feels good to be lost in the right direction”. This saying has resonated strongly with the direction of my life, describing both the confidence and the mystery that I will follow Jesus into this coming July. I keep hearing and reading that the race is going to change me, that I am not going to want the same things, that I will not come back the same Kathleen. But truthfully, how could I be? I fully welcome Jesus into my life to do all that He intends to do, to turn my world upside down, because from my past experiences when he does this I am usually the wrong-side-up to begin with—and He is setting me down the way in which I will flourish for His purposes.
As for “caring for orphans and widows”, I pray in ignorance for the work we will be doing in each of the countries, not knowing of the deep issues both physical and spiritual that await us. I don’t want to be a stereotypical missionary, the one where we go out into the countries and hold a few orphans and take some pictures with them. I don’t want to be concerned about the picture part. I don’t want to be worried about who knows what I’m doing, the credit is not and will not be mine. I don’t want to be corrupted by the world, I want to love God’s people. Little, big, old, young, withered, new, sick, poor, healthy, of every color and language. I want to be humbled by stories, give parts of me that I am not presently willing to give up, I want them to know that we are fighting for them and that we aren’t just stopping by to be good people or to bring goods. I want them to know that the small places I haven’t heard of, and the people who have been forgotten by this world have just as big of a place in the kingdom of heaven as I do, as we all do, should they choose Jesus.
