I am leaving the country for 11 months, and soon. I am leaving my sister, my post-college plans, my friends, my family, the comfort of a warm bed, certain freedoms and leisures that I would’ve had, and a lot more. As I experience my last few months in the states it is becoming very clear that I will miss a lot. My sister turned to me on Christmas and said, “you won’t be here with me next year”. While my heart broke in that moment, I realized a repressed sense of guilt for going on the World Race. I think that I have felt that I will be letting people down, that I have responsibilities here in the states, that I am just taking off and being impulsive, I have duties to fulfill here. While others may feel that way about me, I am not going to apologize for responding to the whisper—no forget that—the shout, that I have heard. He has called me by name, saying go Kathleen. Go and spread Me to the corners of the earth. This is not to say that I am not going to miss those things that I will be leaving behind, because that would be a lie. But more than the desire for any of those things, is the desire to be in God’s will. Because it is only there that I will be truly fulfilled, have peace in my soul, and be living in the freedom that I was created to live in. This is not some burdensome task that I have taken on, I am truly filled with glee and extraordinarily excited to go. I smile and laugh just thinking about how we will play with kids, and pray with people, and build God’s kingdom literally and figuratively. I have never wanted something so passionately in my whole life. It’s going to be hard some days, when I lose patience, or when I am exhausted, or when I get called out in truth or my gut is challenged—but bring it on, I don’t want to live a dormant passive life but a wild adventure that points to Jesus at the cross. I’m not going to apologize, I am not going to feel guilty, I’m going to keep running this race that has been assigned to me. (Acts 20:24)
