All Sons & Daughters – Called Me Higher (click this link before reading on 🙂 )
The reality of this trip is slowly starting to sink in. I am going on The World Race. I have started to shop around to look at the heavy duty backpacks, sleeping bags, and tents that will be my home for 11 months. I have begun to raise support for the trip, and I have talked people's ears off about it. But the truth is, in each passing month- the closer September 1st gets, the more anxious I find myself becoming.
I am preparing for a year of discomfort.
I am preparing for a year of hard growth and sanctification.
I am preparing for a year without my family.
I am preparing for a year apart from my dearest friends.
This has particularly hit home as the holidays are approaching. Next year my Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, etc. will look vastly different than ever before.
I'm finding that in order to be at ease with this trip, I have to fully put my trust in the Lord.
But comfort and ease sure do sound nice right now.
And I could hold on
I could hold on to who I am and never let You change me from the inside
And I could be safe
I could be safe here in Your arms and never leave home
Never let these walls down
Sometimes I wish I could ignore the calling God has laid before me. A lot of people think I'm crazy. They think I'm taking the whole "serving God" thing too far. I often feel misunderstood or judged by some people. Others think I'm irresponsible or unwise. I should be getting a job and making money, searching for a husband; making my mark on the world. From the interpretation of a people pleaser; I am failing these people.
It would be easy, really to do what they want me to do with my life. I could get a job, make money, buy a new car, live the American dream. I would be comfortable.
So why has the Lord put it on my heart to give a year of my life to him? to travel to 11 different countries with people I do not know? to live in discomfort?
I am deeply saddened by the thought of leaving the ones I love. I am scared and anxious about what the next year will hold. To put it plainly, sometimes I don't need the doubt of others because I myself am already doubtful.
But you have called me higher
You have called me deeper
And I will go where you will lead me Lord
You have called me higher
You have called me deeper
And I will go where you lead me Lord
Where you lead me
Where you lead me Lord
Jesus, you have called me to a different life. You have called me into a life that may not always be comfortable. I need to rest in the fact though, that your love is the most incredible thing I will ever experience.
You are better than comfort and ease.
You know me better than anyone and already have a perfect plan laid out for me. You are with me here and you will be with me in each country you bring me to.
So, whatever the next year brings, I am choosing to trust in the Lord. It will be challenging. It will be uncomfortable. But it will be sweet. I will get to experience God and his love in new ways and with new people. I will see things I have never seen before. I will learn to depend more on the Spirit in times of hardship. Regardless of what anyone may say, I know this is where God wants me next year. And ultimately, his opinion is the only one that really matters anyway.
Love, Kara
