Lately
I have been reading the book “Hinds Feet on High Places” by Hannah Hurnard. For those of you who may have not read
this book, it is an allegory about a young girl named ‘Much Afraid’ and the
journey she must take to be able to leap upon the high places of the
mountaintops with ‘The Great Shepherd’. She begins her journey with ‘The Great Shepherd’ and no sooner has it
began than they reach the base of the mountains and she is asked to continue
on, not with Him but with 2 helpers that he has chosen named ‘Sorrow and
Suffering’. She doesn’t understand
why He would choose these 2 helpers when she knows that He could have chosen
helpers like ‘Peace and Joy’. However she longs to please the Shepherd, and believing that He knows
best and with the promise that He would always be there when she called, she
takes the hands of Sorrow and Suffering and starts her trek to the “High
Places”.
While
reading this story it was mentioned that Much Afraid had lame feet, but even so
she would only take the hands of Sorrow and Suffering when absolutely
necessary. However this soon
changed as circumstances arose and she learned that it was imperative to not
only hold the hands of Sorrow and Suffering at all times but also to lean into
them and onto them. When I first
read this, I did not understand why she had to hold their hands at all
times. I began to ask God why not
just when it was very difficult? Couldn’t she take the easy parts with them at
her side, not necessarily embracing them? Well… I soon got my answer?
Recently, while being here in
Nicaragua, I had the opportunity to hike up a volcano and swim in the lake that
was inside the crater. Although
not knowing if I was really in the kind of shape to do this, I decided that
there were probably not going to be many other opportunities to do such a
thing, and what the hey…. I’m in Nicaragua! So 9 boys, 2 other girls, and
myself set off to go hike this volcano. We got there however, only to realize that it was straight up climbing
(when I say straight I’m talking more like 50 or 60 degree angle) for 4 hours,
but we were there and I was going to hike this volcano. Well I made it to the top with success
and relatively little help… I was proud of myself. However, humility was soon on its way.
As we started our trek back down
the mountain I realized that I had stretched my hip flexors in my legs so badly
while hiking up the mountain that my left leg refused to hold the weight of my
body going back down the mountain. Therefore, I had to hold the hand of my brother Matthew for 3 ½ hours
down the mountain. At first I was
convinced that I would only need help in the hard spots, but this continued to
weaken my muscles even further and I got to the point where it was just easier
to hold his hand and lean on him the entire way down the mountain (opposed to
making him turn around every 3 to 5 seconds,…..literally, because I was
convinced that I could do it by myself only to find that once again I needed
help). Tears came to my eyes as I
realized, about 2/3 down the mountain that I could NOT do this by myself. I felt like a burden to Matthew (even
though he continued to express to me that he was doing exactly what a brother
should), and my pride was in pieces as I realized where my self-ambition had gotten
me. However it was in these
moments of weakness that God truly had my attention and I began to listen as my
own question was echoed back in my ears and then answered.
God
spoke to my heart and it sounded something like this:
“Jordan, so often you walk through
your life only wanting to hold my hand when life gets difficult. You will walk with me but you will not
lean on me unless absolutely necessary, convinced that you are a burden, even
to me. If you would just take my
hand and lean on me the entire time, opposed to just when it is difficult, you
would find greater comfort and it would be so much easier…. You are not a
burden… I WANT TO HOLD YOUR HAND”.
