I got my nose from my mom, my smile from my dad, my height from my dad, my hair from my mom, and my sarcasm/twisted sense of humor from both of my parents. There are certain traits both physically and emotionally that we obtain from our families. Whether it is through genetics or the way we are raised we are a certain way because of these things. This can be a blessing and a curse, because the bad can be past down through each generation just as easily as the good can. In fact it could be easier to pass the negative down to your children because it can just slip through without you noticing.
My grandmother always cared about what people thought. She believed that worrying was a good thing, because that was what her mother had taught her. It was an overall fear of man that had been past generationally. This fear was passed onto my mother, who became the perfect example of a people pleaser, because it was all she knew. This fear of man has plagued my family for generations, but they never knew it because the devil had disguised it as a desire to please people. He made them think that by doing everything they could to please people they were keeping the peace in their lives. When in reality it was causing more stress and anxiety in their lives. This overwhelming fear of man was a way for the enemy to distract them from growing in their walk with God, and it would work. If they were too busy making sure everyone was happy, then how would they have the time or energy to seek after God.
Now when I was little I used to always try to make sure everyone was happy, I never said no, and I sacrificed everything to help people. In some ways it was good, because I knew God had blessed me with a servant's heart. However, I never stopped to ask God what it meant to be a servant. So I would exhaust myself until I had nothing left to give, which would cause me to crash and become depressed. I honestly struggled with this fear of man for the majority of my life. Although there was always a little part of my spirit that didn't give a crap what people thought about me. I wanted to help, but I wanted to do it in my own way. However, because of the traits passed down in my family it was in grained in my brain to never let anyone down. That's how all the women in my family were, they were trapped by their own desire to help everyone.
Finally, after years of counseling and seeking after God I learned one simple word which changed my life, which was NO. Does the world define what it means to be a true servant? NO! Will people leave me if I don't do everything for them? NO! Will the world crumble if I don't do everything for everyone? NO! Am I a bad Christian if I don't do this? NO! One small word has so much influence in my life. I had the freedom to say no and it felt great. Suddenly chains that had been unknowingly passed down to me were being broken off. I was so free, and in that freedom a desire to serve people replaced a need to serve them. I was no longer a slave to them but a friend, I did things out of love instead of guilt. Through this transformation I got rid of a lot of resentment I held against people that I didn't know existed, and now I am able to truly love these people and then act out of that love.
The fear of man that has been passed down inter-generationally through the women in my family stops with me. I have broken of this fear and it no longer has ahold in my life, and has no place in my family any longer. The only thing that I will pass onto future generations is a passion for serving God, and a freedom from man/the world. My desire is that not only will this fear cease to exist in future generations, but that it will also be taken from the generations before me. I pray that the fear of man is broken off of my mother, aunts, grandmother, and anyone else that struggles with it. The only person you have to serve and to please is God, and I have a bit of insight on that. Nothing you can do will make Him love you anymore or any less than He already does! He loves you the same no matter what. You are His child, His beloved, and He is well pleased in you!!
