It is unmistakable that I do not know what I am doing most of the time. That may raise some concerns, and for a while, I was concerned myself…
"God what on earth am I doing? I can't do this, I don't even know what I'm doing or
even why I'm doing it."
But God stopped me right there.
"No. You can't do it. In your own flesh you can't do a thing. But by ME, in the name of
Jesus, by the power of the Holy Spirit…you CAN."
Uh DUH! I had been struggling for a while now on going on this trip in July or not. Why? Because of my doubt. Because of the possibility that maybe it was another missions trip that I should go on. Because of the incredible guilt and responsibility I felt in leaving my parents who needed my help in running their business. Because of my blah blah blah blah blah the excuses could go on but the reason was because of my UNBELIEF. My unbelief that God wanted to send me of all people to prepare me for His incredible and beautiful purposes. My unbelief that the mighty hand of God could move through me or that miracles could still be done. But I prayed LORD JESUS HELP MY UNBELIEF! And I tell you that He has given me incredible peace and comfort, and I am confident in my Father. The God of the universe cannot be contained.
So why, why would I leave for a year to 11 different countries, traveling with people I do not know, and going to places potentially dangerous not only to my health but to my life?
Because I have given my life to Christ, and I am willing to lose everything that I have and am so that I may gain everything that I could ever need in Him.
I’m not going to seek some short-lasting thrill in foreign countries. I’m not going to “find myself”. I’m not going on vacation to escape society only to go visit some other societies. I’m not going just to check “missions trip” off of my list. I’m not going as some humanitarian and to show how “good” and righteous I am.
The point is, it’s not about me. It is God’s command that I go and I must be obedient to His will. I go that HIS glory may be known among the nations. I go that HIS light may be shown, HIS joy may bring laughter, HIS face may be seen, HIS voice may be heard, and HIS love may pour out. I go to serve.
I know there is money involved and that I don't really have the money or the resources, but I also know that God provides my every need and I need not be anxious and I will rejoice.
“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice.
Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand;
do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and
supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to
God, and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding,
will guard your hearts and yours minds in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Philippians 4:4-7
I know that I don’t know exactly where I will be going in each country, who I will be talking to, or what I will be doing. But I do know that God knows and that He will establish my path.
“Commit your work to the LORD, and your plans will be established.”
Proverbs 16:3
I know that I may encounter spiritual warfare and experience things not seen in everyday life. But I know that I am given authority in the name of Jesus Christ to cast out demons, to heal the sick, and proclaim the kingdom of God.
“Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do;
and greater works than these will he do, because I am going to the Father.
Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.
If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.”
John 14:12-14
I know that I will be challenged mentally, physically, and spiritually. I know that I may be mocked, ridiculed and persecuted because Jesus came before me, and I am no greater than my master. But I know that my faith will not be shaken, because I put my faith in Jesus Christ, and I know that he is my rock, my shelter, and my Savior. In Him I am rooted and unshakable.
“Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose trust is the LORD.
He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream,
and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green,
and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.”
Jeremiah 17:7-8
I may not know where or what I will do when I return from the trip, but I know where God wants me: in His will, in His Word, in His heart. I may be only one young girl in the eyes of many, but in the eyes of Christ I am his daughter unified with her brothers and sisters of the church.
God desires all to be saved and come to the knowledge of the truth. He has called me to serve Him by going to these 11 different countries so that His face may be seen, His voice may be heard, and that His joy, grace, love, truth and mercies may be known.
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son,
that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world,
but in order that the world might be saved through him.”
John 3:16-17
