So with 7 days left until my second deadline ends. This as been such a journey already that has been made with ups and Downs. I want to be honest with all of you. This as not been easy walking into unknown territory. When I decided to make the decision to move forward and fill out an application for a mission trip I really didn’t think that they would except me. Most of you know that I have been in recovery and clean for 9 months on July 2nd. These are no easy words to speak about because the world condemns those that struggle with addition so much. They do not see the pain and hatred toward ourselves we hold deep inside. The drugs only allowed me to numb those things. When I realized that it was no longer working and it was controlling my life I needed to get help. I thought that when I did this there would be no way that God would ever want to use me or that anybody would ever expect me on a mission which I long to do for so long.
In Feb. I took a chance and filled out an application. I had my first interview and I had decided to be completely honest with them about my past and where I was now. Whatever would happen I put it in God’s hands and knew He would do His will whatever that would be. They told me that they normal don’t allow anyone to leave on this particular mission unless you had a year clean, and out on your own for 6 months. So I had to have a second interview and they were so in awe of how honest I had been. We all prayed for another two weeks and the organization had to speak to the head about this and they prayed. They felt has though God was telling them to let me come on board with them. I got a call that would ultimately change me forever. I was hearing that God was going to be able to use me no matter what my past said about me because I was no longer that person. I was being excepted just as I was and it has been a beautiful thing to see.
The last three weeks I lost sight of the reason God had called me to take on this mission. I had become very prideful in thinking that I could get myself to where I needed to be in Sept. all on my own. That, I could raise all the money I needed all on my own and with no help from Him. I had lost all my faith in God that He would be able to provide for me and get me to where He was calling me to be. I then took it upon myself to change the date of my trip to Jan. to allow my time to raise the funds. I did not pray about this and I was listening to what everyone else was telling me. Of course to most people it looks nearly impossible to get $7,000 before Sept. So, for three week I sat sick to my stomach not knowing why I was feeling so sick. I finally talked to my Missions leader about what was going on this past week. Something she told me really has stuck with me. She said that God does not need more time to do His work. He is well able to do what needs to be done in the time that has been give. Yes, pride and lies had taken over me and I was ready to take it all to God. I realize that I cant do anything apart from Him. I also realized that this is not my mission but His. I am a vessel that is very blessed to be used in this area. I get to let God use me to change the world. I get to see the eyes and faces of those that suffered just as I did and now I get to share how God changed my life. I get to take what as been given to me and give it back to those that so desperately need it. I know the pain that the world holds but I get to take what was my pain and make good out of it. I get to take my experiences and relate to another human being. I am so very blessed and I was silly forever taking my eyes off the one thing that makes me complete.
I don’t know where all of you are today. I don’t know what kinds of pains you have endured but I know that each and everyone one of you have suffered. I can’t change the whole world and I am lucky if I can touch just one person. I can’t stand alone in this though and I need to reach out everyday for help myself. Now I get reach out and feed the hungry, teach English in schools, fight human trafficking, work with prostitutes, share Gods love, teach the bible, build church’s and get to learn to continue to humble myself in the process. My second deadline is just 8 days away and if I don’t make my deadline I don’t get to leave in Sept. I have been praying that God lays it on peoples hearts to help Him to make a difference. I need $2,000 by the end of the day on July 1st. I believe and have faith that God has this all worked out but it can not happen without the help of others. You are not just paying for me to travel around world but you are doing God’s will. Please consider donating to this mission. Every dollar counts if that is all you have. But if you just think about it or think someone else will do it, I can grantee that the other person is thinking the same thing. If you can or feeling lead to help please do. You do not have to put any information in there you do not want, if that is what is holding you back from doing it.
Thank you for your continued prayers that are much needed and for your support. You are greatly appreciated and no words can ever express the gratitude I have.
