The word LOVE has been weighing heavy on my heart lately. With everything going on in the news and as I prepare to leave for 11 months God has been pushing me in new and scary ways to understand this four letter word.
Every time something controversial is on my heart I am hesitant to express myself wondering if I have enough courage or strength to share what the Lord is stirring up inside me. This weekend has made me extremely uncomfortable – He led me to another racer’s blog post “Why I love Brock Turner” and then broke my heart some more with post after post about remembering the 9-11 tragedy. So please be patient with me as I try to put into words the movement God is brewing within my soul.
Let’s start by looking at how Merriam-Webster defines love: attraction that includes sexual desire: the strong affection felt by people who have a romantic relationship.
Notice the keywords of this worldly “love”. An affection towards another in a romantic way that includes sexual desire … I don’t know about you but that has continued to leave me with the question; “there has to be something more?”.
Now let’s look at God’s definition of love: 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.
These keywords call us to a love much bigger! Love is so much more than affection, romance, or sexual desire. Love is action; love is a way of life; love is a choice; love is who we are called to be.
In a world tinted red by the enemy’s claws it is hard to willingly call myself a Christian. Christian is such a worldly term these days of so many proclaiming to walk with God while holding the hand of the devil. We live in a world that rallies around hate so my question is how are we as followers of Christ to love?
I am already aware many will feel anger towards me for parts of this post because my heart goes against the grain of how many view these topics, but again all I ask is for your patience as I unravel my thoughts before you.
Why today? Well on a day like September 11th we see unity amongst Americans … and like many as I scroll through social media my heart breaks. Yet, my heart breaks for a different reason today. My heart breaks for America of the present not America of the past, because the same mouths boasting about America’s resilience today are the same who were spilling hatred of our fellow brothers and sisters yesterday. How have we become a nation that stands together in unity over tragedy but fails to cultivate that beyond moments or remembering the fallen? All across America today a moment of silence was shared, in this moment all the hate and ignorance stand still, in that moment we are all on the same side. Then just like that, it is gone and we are back to fighting our own.
So where does Brock Turner and the post written by another racer fall into all of this? In her post one sentence would not stop ringing through my mind: “The thing is, as Christians, we are not asked (or even capable) to bring justice, we are asked to bring love”. This could not be more of the truth. We are called to love; our merciful God is the one who decides what is just. In a world that is paving a path one brick at a time for the enemy to rule, we are expecting justice from an unjust and fallen world. We are living in a country that has decided to take that power into its own hands thinking they know best. When in reality our society is being blinded to the truth that these “justice makers” are puppets of the enemy. We give space for people to act in ignorance and we give reasons of “justification and cause” because the way we Americans react. As Followers of Christ we have a responsibility to abide by in how we so choose to react either by the way of the world or by the word of God.
I am not saying Brock Turner will be an advocate against rape, but what I am saying is who are we to take that testimony from Christ? I would be a hypocrite if I did, what makes me more worthy than Brock Turner? I am a testimony of Christ, He changed my heart without His love I would still be a dark and broken person. There is more justice in loving the “enemy’s ill” than serving the world with more of what strengthens him. The enemy has already been defeated and with each passing generation that is slowly being forgotten and look where we are as a country now . . .
To say I do not understand the meaning of the hate rallied behind Brock Turner would be a lie. The Bible does not have a valuation for sin, this world does. Sin is sin. That is not to justify his actions in any way; I too have been darkened by the same action. But I have also sinned in ways that in this world if the people around me did not love me I could have gone to jail for as well. His father fought out of ego and pride and I will not commend fighting sin with sin. But rather if we behaved more like Christ in these situations then we have the potential to create a space for real justice.
[But Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.”] Luke 23:34
My words to ‘Emily Doe’:
Many people will never understand your new fear of the dark or the need to have light accompany you at all times. They will not understand the involuntary shivers that will course your spine when someone touches you or the constant replay in your mind. Many people won’t be able to relate to the emptiness inside of you that seems like it will never disappear or the undisclosed and misplaced guilt you feel against yourself. Please dear girl do not identify yourself as a victim. If you look up victim in the dictionary synonyms for this word are: prey, fool, chump, sacrifice. Beautiful girl, you are none of these things. Do not give him more power over you by calling yourself his victim. If these words ever grace your presence please read them openly for now I am free and I pray that for you. Forgiveness is so much more than a commandment in the bible; it is freedom for your soul. I harbored hate wishing so badly for “justice” to be served – we must be careful what we wish for. At the news of his death came more vicious feelings as my mind rung “justice is served”. Here is what’s crazy my fear of the dark increased, every touch felt like a threat, and I was emptier than ever before. Bless your boyfriend for his patience and demonstrating the true definition of God’s love; through all of this remember him as that! Somewhere in all my hate I lost that, my boyfriend became the source of my pain, my outlet for outrageously hurtful words and actions. One day I woke up and didn’t recognize who this darkness turned me into. Broken and in pieces I was faced with only one choice to turn my life around – forgiveness. When we harbor hate we are hurting ourselves more than the one the hate is aimed at. His life will not stop because you do or do not forgive him that is the awful truth. However, the hate and anger that will continue to grow within you will stall yours. Do not give him that power. We grieve the Holy Spirit when we do not forgive. You are a child of God and He loves you more than you will ever know.
If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:14
My words to Brock Turner:
The enemy may have created a leak in your soul, but you are a child of the one true King. You have a Father in heaven that loves you unconditionally. In a world where reputation is more meaningful than character it is easy to find someone to come to your defense. It is much harder to act in good character and integrity. You are at a crossroads in your life, one that is not foreign to many our age, where you can continue in darkness or change your ways to live in the light. See my sin may be different than yours but I still victimized someone, made them feel small, made myself powerful in a moment to compensate for how little I really felt inside and I too faced the same crossroad. There is where I met Jesus Christ who reminded me how loved I am and His purpose for my life; that the hate and anger that filled me was the enemy keeping me from Him. You are in a position to be a testimony to Christ in such a powerful way. I am just a woman, a mere statistic in our “justice systems” eyes on two sides of the story. You, however, are in the public’s eye – you have a position many of the redeemed do not.
Come, let’s consider your options,” says the LORD. “Though your sins have stained you like the color red, you can become white like snow; though they are as easy to see as the color scarlet, you can become white like wool. Isaiah 1:18
My prayer for our country:
Lord – help us to not fall into the temptation to harbor hate for our brothers and sisters in Christ but, rather to lift them up in Your name. Teach us to love like You and forgive those who have wronged us. Lord I pray that we remember we are not perfect beings and we are all a work in progress. That only You have a hand in what is just and have called upon us to love one another unconditionally. I pray for our country to find true unity in love and not rally in hate. I pray we as a country can be an example to this fallen world in abiding by your definition of love that we can preserve unity beyond brief moments.
Thank you for breaking my heart today Lord for gracing me with courage to write this, may the person you have placed this message on my heart for read this and feel Your presence. Thank you for reminding me of the responsibility placed on our choices in following You over the ways of the world.
In Jesus Name, Amen.
