I have hesitated writing this post – starting and stopping many times.
I found my initial response to be defensive and not a true reflection of my heart around this topic. I had to remind myself that this was in no way an overnight decision or something I went looking for. I asked God the same question when He first put the World Race on my heart – “Lord there is so much here in the States why do I need to leave home, leave my family, leave my life to serve You?”
“If you love me, you will obey what I command” John 14:15
I had not connected the dots that the Race was God answering my prayers, just differently than my expectations. I was praying to experience God in a bigger way but minimizing how big He really is. I denied the Race for a while but God kept pushing back assuring me around every corner this was where He wanted me to go. Every prayer led to scripture confirming His call, every book I read shed light on His reasons, and every google search landed the same place … Adventures in Missions.
Christ follower or not, everyone can relate to a ‘gut feeling’ or ‘intuition’. We have all experienced that, but with God it’s so much harder to talk yourself out of feeling something because He knows better than us, what we need and how to answer our prayers.
I remember one of the last nights before I decided to finally apply to the Race, I was praying about how silly I thought it was that I needed to leave the States to experience my faith and Christ the way I was asking. God must have laughed at me that night because within a half hour of saying Amen, I was reading the following chapter out of “Crazy Love”:
We Are the Weird Ones
During my time in India, the commitment level of the believers shocked me. I visited thousands of Christians who had been beaten or watched relatives murdered for their faith. At one point, I said to one of the leaders, “Every believer seems so serious about his or her commitment to Christ. Aren’t there people who just profess Christ but don’t really follow Him?” he answered by explaining that nominal Christianity doesn’t make sense in India. Calling yourself a Christian means you lose everything. Your family and friends reject you, and you lose your home, status, and job. So why would anyone choose that unless he or she is serious about Jesus? . . . The most surprising part of our time together was when they asked me about church in America. They laughed hysterically when I told them that church for Americans tends to focus on buildings and that people will sometimes switch churches based on music, child care, preaching, or disagreements with other believers. I honestly was not trying to be funny. They laughed in disbelief at our church experiences, thinking it was ridiculous that we would call this Christianity.
Chan, Francis, and Danae Yankoski. Chapter Eleven: A Lot Should Change in Five Years. Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God. Print.
I belittled my faith and hid how God molded my heart for the Race trying to use ‘rational reasoning’ others may relate to; I canceled my study abroad semester to pursue a career I hated, plenty of people go and travel to these places for vacation why is it terrible that I want to go there too?, it’s perfect timing I’m not married, I have no kids . . . but all I was doing was discrediting God and His amazing plan He has in store for me.
So here is my answer to the big question, why not do something in the US?
BECAUSE GOD SAID GO !
I am too comfortable with my current lifestyle. I would never have dreamed of jumping this far out of my comfort zone. Or stepping out in faith to the point where I will be living out of a backpack for a year and sleeping in a tent to protect myself from bugs and mice. I am terrified – but I trust in God more than I trust in myself. He has blessed me with gifts that I haven’t even discovered yet for His glory and I would ultimately be disappointed if His plan didn’t lead me to places I wouldn’t go on my own. There is no way what I had in mind could compare to who He wants me to grow into. Yes, many people travel to the counties I will be living in over the next year but, I will get to have the experience through God’s eyes not that of a tourist and that alone is a reason to say YES!
