I found a quiet place surrounded by trees where I could blast my worship music and sing, pray, dance, read and listen to God. Last month the thought of fasting kept coming up in my mind and heart. Others would talk about it, I would pray and the word "FAST" would come to heart. It's about mid-month right now and it's sooo hot here in Cambodia, especially where we are in the village. I get a good amount of sleep, I exercise, eat healthy and drink a TON of water and still half way through the day I am exhausted. The heat takes a lot out of me and I feel like I am always hungry. I felt like God kept saying "Trust me, even when it's hard, this is when you need to trust me the most. Don't lean on your own understanding. Just obey."
As I stood under the trees with my worship music blasting I saw 3 little kids running, smiling, and they stopped near me and watched me. I could tell that they wanted attention from me. This month our team is teaching 4 English classes a day from 8AM until 6:30PM so it can be hard when you have kids surrounding you ALL the time. When I saw them I realized two of them were my students. Right away I turned around so I couldn't see them. I was busy. I was singing, and praying and didn't want to be bothered. I literally turned my back to them. As I heard them run off I was relieved. I didn't want to be distracted.
Right after that I opened my bible to Isaiah 58. This whole chapter blows me away. It is all about true worship and fasting. I began reading through it slowly and praying about each section that I would read. I prayed for God to reveal things to me, to speak to me, to show me new things. I didn't know what to expect.
Isaiah 58
6"No, this is the kind of fasting I want: Free those who are wrongly imprisoned; lighten the burden of those who work for you. Let the opressed go free, and remove the chains that bind people.
7 Share your food with the hungry, and give shelter to the homeless. Give clothes to those who need them, and do not hide from relatives who need your help."
11 "The LORD will guide you continually, giving you water when you are dry and restoring your strength. You will be like a well-watered garden like an ever-flowing spring."
These are just a few verses of the chapter and I recommend that you read the whole thing because it is incredible. But as I read those verses all of a sudden my heart broke and tears shed.
I realized I turned my back on those sweet children that God put in my life at that moment to love. He showed me pictures of feeding these kids with spiritual food, with love, with truth, making sure that they know of their shelter in Jesus, seeing them clothed in these truths, and that they are my brothers and sisters in Christ and I am never to hide from them since they need my help for I am Jesus' hands and feet. Then I saw chains broken and FREEDOM. Right then and there I broke down praying that they would some how come back. That somehow he'd make a way for me to see them again. Jesus would have never turned His back on these precious little ones. About 10 minutes later I see them. I then got SO overwhelmed with excitment that I started to wave my hands, shouting "hello" and smiling at them. (looking back I am sure I looked crazy..haha) When they saw me, all three of them waved and began running to me with huge smiles on their faces and giggling. I opened my arms wide open and they ran into them smiling looking up at me. I melted in their arms with joy. I shared Jesus' love with them in this moment.
After the little ones left, I praised and thanked God, took in a deep breath, opened my eyes with my arms wide open and saw a gorgeous black and yellow butterfly circling around my whole body. I giggled with excitement! (I haven't seen any butterflies here until now) Then came another one =) God is so funny sometimes. I love it!
I was asking God to show me true fasting, true love, I had no agenda, expectation and He never ceases to amaze me what He reveals. He is such a GOOD GOD!
