I’ve notice this blogging thing seems a bit
self-indulgent… I mean it seems to be
all about me. Awkward!! But seriously, I hope to have much more to
write about other people and such out in the field. For now you are all stuck with me!
However it seems the preparation process does require that
we take a good hard and honest look at ourselves and prepare every part of our
heart and our being for what the Lord wants to do in and through us. It may appear self-indulgent, but in a very
different way than the past. Suddenly
there seems a shift from selfish obsessing to introspection and praying to be
broken from the old and to be made renew – melded in the fire to produce
someone who is capable of surviving and then thriving in the new capacity we
have been called to.
With that being said, I want to write about a topic that has
been on my mind lately… money. More
specifically, the ways in which my entire mindset regarding money/finances has
been rocked, collapsed, and then properly rebuilt with a more eternal
perspective. I will attempt to be precise
and brief, but this has been one of the most important changes made in my soul
during this time of preparation and therefore I am not going to cut corners.
To allow you a brief history: money and really more
importantly “financial security” has always been of utmost importance to
me. Even when I was very young having a
comfortable supply of money in the bank felt good and I never allowed myself to
spend without serious contemplation. My
mother once made me go spend some money on at least one nice item after
I won some money in a competition in elementary school. I don’t know where this shrewdness originated,
but it seemed implanted since birth.
Fast forward to age 23 – first job – making a nice salary and making
some big purchases but still all calculated to possible return on investment
and such. I began slowly learning
the joy of giving over the last three years, but only giving what I thought
prudent and rarely more.
So, fast forward a little further: circa beginning of 2009. I can’t pinpoint many of the specific events,
but many things kept catching my attention and challenging my ideas about the
significance and utility of money. I can
however point to one fundraising event I attend annually that always has
fantastic speakers. Last year the guy
ended his speech with the challenge that money actually can buy us happiness. We earn money – we can buy food – we are
happier than without; we get a little more money and we afford decent shelter and
we are happier than before, we get some more money and we buy nicer food, nicer
houses, nicer cars and on and on. Each
step makes us a little happier than we were before. He challenged everyone that money actually is
the currency of happiness, but what fleeting and short-lived investments we use
our money towards in pursuing happiness.
He challenged everyone to invest in a ministry that will reap eternal
happiness and rewards. I can safely say
that was the first moment I can point to that began a real change in my
mindset.
Over the rest of 2009 I came to realize that the longing for
financial security was the main issue holding me back from pursuing my greatest
desire and where God wanted me to be. I
realized now that what I was calling “financial responsibility” or being
prudent or whatever you want to call it had actually emerged to idol status in
my life. What I constantly labeled “good
sense” in actuality was what I was counting on as my “saving grace.” I know financial responsibility is a good and
respectable thing, however when you allow it to take over and keep you from
pursuing a calling or something you know you should do it then becomes a problem
and must be addressed.
I began to address this issue and around August – thanks to
some key people God inserted into my life, and other influential
books/movies/etc… I had worked through the fear of forgoing my steady income and
embracing financial insecurity for the sake of whole heartedly seeking the
great desire I knew had been suffocated for so long. Only at that time was I ready to even hear
the proper name and receive the fulfillment of that desire via The World Race
program. It turns out God was at work,
weakening and breaking down this very specific barrier over a year in advance
before I was prepared to receive that fulfillment.
Of course the preparation was just that: preparing me for
what was next to come. Once fulfillment
is granted – then begins the real challenges and testing of your faith and the
principles you have been shown. The months
since October, 2009 have broken, emptied, and then refilled me with a joy and a
better understanding of money, finances, choices, and the true potential of
what is possible when a person properly understands wealth.
I have decided for the sake of my readers to complete this thought
in two parts. The second part will focus
on the understanding I have gained in the last few months via the challenges,
struggles and complete uncertainty God has tested and blessed me with.
-Jeremiah
