This month has been really incredible. Diving into the vibrant culture here in Zimbabwe alongside a team of hilarious people filled with grace and love has made for an unforgettable experience.
Since I last wrote we have stayed busy doing different ministries and outreaches through the church, hanging out with people from the community, and eating lots of beans & sadza (staple food made of ground maize).
One day we even got to visit a rural homestead, share a traditional meal in a clay hut, and learn about their cultural norms which include men purchasing their brides for x amount of cows.
My favorites have been the soup kitchen which brings fond memories of Arizona, and playing with the children out in the “bush.”
Over the last couple days I’ve been home alone while my team is adventuring, to let my body rest as I finish another round of antibiotics to hopefully clear the parasites and lethargy I’ve been battling for about 6 months now.
This afforded me time to sit in stillness with the Lord and have some honest conversations with Him.
With the month coming swiftly to a close and only 8 weeks before I set foot back on American soil I have been feeling the weight of the ever present looming question…what next???
People have asked me if God has placed a specific call on my heart, if I’ve fallen in love (lol), or what I’ll do after the race.
I have spent countless hours pondering and praying for the answers and while sometimes I have ideas they seem fleeting and I’m left with my only consisent one… I don’t know.
Coming on the race, I was banking on becoming some super spiritual human being and assumed God would have given me clear and unmistakable direction by now. Obviously, neither have happened and I didn’t come with a plan B.
Frustrated, I’ve asked: God, how am I supposed to do your will and carry out Your purpose for my life if you aren’t showing me what you want me to do!?
His answer: I have promised a lamp unto your feet not a crystal ball into the future.
I realize He cares less about the what and more about the state of the continual abiding relationship we share.
The real calling is not to a certain place or career but to everyday obedience.
Although I may not know exactly what my future holds, that’s okay because He does. I cling to the promise I read recently from psalm 25 that says “Who are you who fear the LORD? He WILL show them the path they should choose.”
The way I pray for my after race plans has shifted. Now, instead of hoping to hear the name of a city to move to or school to go to, I sit quietly with open hands waiting for His presence to meet me so I can know & love Him more.
And when I hear the still small voice saying “trust me” I reply, “Yes Lord, you have been so good to me. You are so worthy of my trust. In a world of unkowns You are my constant. I lay my future at Your feet”…
Fear slips away and is replaced by sweet peace.
