Hello and welcome to Month 2 in Chinandega, Nicaragua. I hope to vlog this month but also to post written blogs. My goal since I do have wifi this month would to post 1 vlog and 1 written blog a week.
Debrief update: I have had the enemy attacking some thoughts and I thought I was going to have some conflict with my teammates but I brought them into the light right away and I had a great talk with them and everything is all sorted out and great again and I’m very happy about this because I love my teammates very much and they love me too and we don’t want anyone to have hurt feelings or to be upset. Also after having many one-on-one sessions with coaches, leaders and mentor, I have picked a word for this month that is something that I am going to be working on. After having a few conversations with God he’s already told me that this is bigger than I think and I am just going to keep pushing forward and diving into it and grow, grow, grow. But I hope to explain more about it as the month goes on but for now my word this month is Emotions. I am not an emotional person I like to bottle up and to be basically a fortress and I have been digging in to find the root of this and also in digging I realize I don’t like to show emotions because I consider them as showing weakness and vulnerability, two things I hate. So I get mad at myself for crying or I apologize for crying because I see it as this ugly weakness, when really that’s not true. Crying is healthy and is power and strength and bravery. I don’t believe these truths yet because I have a lot to work through some things to get there but that is the area of myself that I’m ready to change.
Ministry update: We have only been here a day and we went to a remote village today and we got to meet some of the members of the community. Most of the community are widows of men who have died from diseases from working in the Cane Fields and some are those men who are currently sick and/or dying. Today I cried because I woman had asked us to pray over them and I could see in her face and tears that she was struggling and from looking at the posters on her door that she also really loves the lord. So as we prayed over her I cried because I could see how much she loves God but in that moment when her loved one is sick and dying it was a struggle for her to have faith and trust and to even just love on the lord. I waited to be the last one to hug her and when I did I felt like my hug just poured love onto her and I kissed her on the forehead and then said goodbye, I honestly didn’t want to leave her after that because she was hurting and my initial reaction is to be there and comfort her but its not always up to me I can do my part and then step back and let God do the rest and be okay no matter what the outcome.
I don’t have any clue what ministry is going to look like this month but my hands are open and ready to do whatever. I want to post more of ministry stuff because I noticed it basically looks like I’m on a non stop vacation and that’s not true on my days off I just really like to film and have fun. But 5 days a week I am doing ministry so I hope to post more about that.
Also I totally didn’t realize but If you all could be praying and sharing my blogs I have a financial deadline coming at the end of the month and my total needs to stay is $13,000 and currently I am at $10,894. So please just pray about it and ask the lord if this is an area you need to grow. If you can donate $5 then just donate $5 or if you are talking to God and he’s saying trust me and donate more then do whatever he puts on your heart, no donation is too small. I want to thank everyone again for all the donations that have came in so far I hope that God has blessed you all because I am so amazed that I have raised almost $11,000 and that I’m even on this trip. Everyday is a blessing from God and from each and every one of you, THANK YOU!
