First of all, here is a little update on what I’ve been up to.
- Vaccinations – Check. (polio, hep b, yellow fever, typhoid) Should I get the rabies and Japanese encephalitis? Oh, it’s only over $1,500 to stay alive if infected….
- Support letters – Check. I felt maybe this is what it’s like to get married. (At least the invitation part) Sad realization was the only address I knew from the start was mine. Oh boy.
- And now on to the purging (not a requirement, but something on my list)
I brought some cardboard boxes home from work this week with the intent of getting rid of stuff. There are many reasons why I want to go on this trip in September, but one of them is because over the past year I have become frustrated with how I have become so accustomed to having whatever I want, whenever I want. If I like a shirt, I buy it. If I have a craving, I go out and get it and eat all of it. If I’m feeling low, I get a new pair of shoes. I want a book, it’s mine. If I step into a store for things I actually do need, I walk out with new lip gloss to match the other 10 in my purse. I’m starting to feel like my “stuff” is taking over anything else that might be more important.
It’s taken me a long time to notice this in my life. I’ve gone through many phases of things I “have to have.” Shoes have always been a problem so I won’t discuss that at this moment. God’s still working on that one in my heart. I went through a beading phase. I have a really awesome bead collection that was started from my grandma. I went through a dying phase. I have several colors and I could dye your white shirt any color you like or shoes for that matter since I’ve tried both. I went through a lamp phase. I’ve rewired 5 or 6 antique lamps. Then there was an upholstery phase, pink glass, white milk glass, throw pillow phase, frame phase, map phase, an endless jewelry phase, prism phase, antique hat and purse phase. Wow, when I write this all down, I feel so embarrassed because I know on top of all that there are other phases.
Confession: I currently own 73 pairs of shoes. Yes, I counted them. Oh the shame.
My small condo of 874 square feet cannot hold what I have amassed over the past 8 years of living here. I personally cannot hold onto it either. I’m over it. So to begin, I watched an episode of hoarders to jumpstart my inspiration. Now I am not actually a hoarder like you might be imagining, but it’s funny that one starts to think when you watch Hoarders, “Am I becoming like that? Do I freak out too when I'm faced with letting something go that I haven't used once in 5 years? Come to think of it, there is a funny little path to get to my bed too that’s lined with clothes, shoes, books and bobby pins." But if you do see me starting to collect newspaper, please call the city.
I spent a lot of my time and resources into acquiring things to give me joy. And it did. I spent a lot of my thinking about what I would get next to give me value. And I thought it did. This is one of the reasons I chose this trip. I’m over my stuff. I need to learn to live not for the next best thing, but to passionately yearn to live for the next best opportunity God is giving me to share His great Love.
So you can see that I am not accustomed to being without my stuff. The concept of this trip is not really designed for how I like to live. It goes against my very nature. Mother Goose taught me well about what I was made of when I was little.
Sugar and spice,
And everything nice,
That's what little girls are made of.
Yes, that sounds like me! Everything nice!
I don’t camp. I don’t back pack. I don’t even like spending the night in someone else’s house. I like my options for clothing and shoes. I like 3 or 4 drawers of hair products and tools that can curl, straighten, detangle, antifrizz, hydrate and smooth out my hair if I so choose. I like hot showers and being clean right down to my fingernails. I like smelling nice, preferably coconut or fabric softener. I like my cappuccino decaf, nonfat and on the wet side with sugar and spice, please. I want the nice things in life, thanks.
I was not made for this trip.
That is why I chose it.
Life need not be so complicated. Apparantly I need only one backpack of stuff for a whole year. I need a shower only every once in awhile and it doesn’t even need to be hot. I need plain clothes and sensible shoes. I don’t even need to wear mascara and lip gloss every day.
There’s a really good chance I’m not going to like it and maybe it won’t be so nice, but I want to grow from the experience and let it change my heart and they way I view what’s truly important in life.
So to start learning:
*I’m purging my stuff. It’s got to go! No more hoarding in this place. Garage sale, here I come!
*I’m taking fewer showers. Stand back everyone!
*I’m not buying new clothes. Just borrowing;)
*I’m sleeping while there’s a small light on in my room and one less pillow. (I’m trying) I can’t keep sleeping like a princess now or I’ll never sleep a wink next year on a mat.
*I am planning on going camping to see if I know what I’m doing. Renee, ya coming? Brianne?
*I should try wearing no makeup, but I might need to think about that one for awhile.
(I nearly put up some goals for stopping the purchase of shoes, but I'm so afraid I can't commit! Pray for me! This is a problem.) HA!
It won't be perfect and I'm no extremist, but I'll start with these behaviors and see if it adds value to my life. I have a feeling it will.
If I do this, I can spend that extra money on investing it into things that actually matter. Actual living people maybe? Missions? I will see my value in Christ alone and not what I see in my reflection. I will recognize that I don’t have to cater to every little desire to just make me happy for the moment. I will spend that time praying, reading His Word, listening to His voice and taking as many moments as I can to share Love.
It might not seem like sugar and spice to demonstrate more self control when it comes to "stuff", but this is what I was made for:
“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Here's to bigger and better treasures in heaven!
