I think I’m a bit unexpected when you start to really know me. On the outside I’m very upbeat and often times ridiculous. I had to admit to someone just yesterday that I’m actually quite melancholy. She had no suspicion. I have always been, but have discovered recently that my love for people is what energizes me. I remember that feeling even as a child. I so wanted to love people even though I was afraid to step out sometimes for fear of rejection. And fortunately sometimes, I didn’t let that fear stop me.
It wasn’t until I walked away from a career in teaching, a career that I believe I have God-given abilities for, that I discovered how to uncover that desire to love people minus the fear.
I got a job at Starbucks. Yes, that’s what it took, starting over, taking a small step in the direction of facing my greatest love and at the same time, my greatest fear: people. I quickly embraced the culture of working with people, happy people, humble people, hurting and angry people. Each one intrigued me. What makes them tick? What motivates them? I decided to work hard and let Starbucks teach me my new way of making a living.
Nine years later, here I am. I am unexpectedly single. It is unexpected by me of course and unexpected by many who ask me about the kids I don’t even have. I had a fun conversation with a 5 year old girl the other day. She couldn’t understand why I wasn’t married to a handsome man with children. I told her I wanted the best man God could give me and so I would wait to see what God has in store for me. But until then, we had something in common. We were both unmarried. She liked that.
I have an unexpected amount of time. Time has always been something that I have feared. I have recently been asking God to help me correct my heart on the issue of time. My age has been an issue that I let worry me. I could look at it that I haven’t accomplished what others have. I have no husband, no kids, no dog, no soccer leagues, no mom to mom sales to attend, and no dinners to prepare. However, what I do realize is what I AM able to do. In fact, I’m starting to think God will allow me to do it all and more in the time He has blessed me with. I have an incredible amount of time to pray for and with others. I have time to visit new friends in the hospital. I have time to visit those in jail. I have time to plan small trips to visit orphans in Jamaica. I have time to fast and pray for friends to get jobs. I have time to take care of my parents when they are sick. I have time to pray with friends on the beach after a tragedy. And now, I realize that I have been given much. I want to invest my unexpected amount of time to love people.
All these things together have brought me here. Next August, I will be eligible to apply for sabbatical from my career of 10 years at Starbucks. September I will go on the World Race mission’s trip. I will likely be the oldest on my trip being 35 at that time. It has initially worried me, being the oldest. I was always so used to being the youngest growing up in my classes and I liked it. But for some reason, God has placed me here. The timing is not something I could have designed. The experiences will be mostly unexpected in each new place I visit. But that’s who I am anyways, a little unexpected and just trying to trust His timing. And that’s how God tends to show up – a little unexpected, but always right on time.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever! Amen. Eph 3:20-21
~Jen
Here are my greatest earthly passions more plainly put: surfing, rock climbing, slacklining, masterpiece theater, skiing, babies and kids, musical theater, singing so loud in my car until I sound awesome, cheese, chocolate, shoes, peanut butter, coffee, blankets and pillows, peonies, snorkeling, riding my bike, reading my Bible, making old things new again, travel, groupon, visiting friends and making new ones, and swinging on swings.
