Awe yes Manistry Month. In the last 9 years I’ve been stuck in the shallow end. Here I was, a fish in small pond ready to go deep into the ocean with the sharks. 14 of them that want to get real, raw and ready.
All these years one thing I lacked in my walk was a buddy, male accountability, someone or even some friends I could go to and say “here is my crap” I thought is funny how all this year’s God could of set up anybody, anytime in my path to deal with the stuff that I swept under the rug . He might of and I was just so blind and ignorant that even in my own filth that I could of passed by that one friendship that I needed.
Honestly, even if God sent that one person into my life was I ready to be vulnerable? I’ve been hurt before with male accountability. So I felt safe lingering around the shallow end all these years.
I felt like I already took my first big jump into the water at the beginning of the race. God paired me up with this awesome Man of God, Noah. We clicked right away, even at Training Camp. God knew the exact friend and brother that would fight, pray and support me where I was at and that I could be the same for that person. We have shared so many great times on this race together from snorkeling, almost getting arrested in Nicaragua and some great times where we just bonded as men of God.
I think from our first conversation at launch I knew right away I was safe with Noah. We were just being real and honest with stuff. Funny, for some reason I had this crazy idea that no other Christian guy had experienced the junk I had. So that feeling of “ok if I share this will his eye balls come out of his sockets then that feeling of unworthiness would creep back in. Wow was I wrong. It wasn’t about who had it worst then the other but I found out fast that hey I wasn’t the only who struggled with this stuff or experienced somethings you wish you hadn’t. It was about being real Christian men so we can hold each other accountable to our fears, flaws and failures so we can find victory in these areas.
I found out the end of Philippines we were doing Manistry next month in Thailand. I was hoping for this near the end of the race. It felt like without warning God pushed me right in the deep end. God what are you doing? It’s not with just Noah and a couple of others, it’s with 14 other guys. I did pray for this right? How ironic it would be with 14 Americans on the World Race. Nothing wrong with that but what happens when I go back to Canada and they go back to the States? I think there is something else to be learned here for when I go back home to Canada.
I found out soon enough that I wasn’t the only one who struggled with stuff. One night the Holy spirit decided to get the ball rolling. It was like a Holy Spirit chain reaction, all of us pretty much laid it all out. It takes a lot of courage to get things out in the open that really could hinder us from Jesus molding us into his image.
That night most of us shared something’s that we would not dare to share with some. It was intense!!
James 5:16 "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful."
Humbled hearts, tears of joy, the feeling of shame but now feeling freedom, You could smell the victory, the freedom. You know all those manly smells that we just love as men from cigars or the smell of fumes working on a car, or a burning fire well this was the manliest smell you could smell. Repentance to the Lord at its fullest. It was just all of us being wrecked from the inside out. I remember Jacob going gun hoe on the devil, firing words at him that he deserved. It was awesome. I remember sitting there in AWE, I mean I was shaken and blown away. We all shared some stuff together back in Training camp and through the race but I mean what we shared this night was really raising the bar.
I wrestled all month, that feeling of being the oldest, that I should set the bar high, set that Godly example, someone they could look up to. That night I said God if there was one thing that I could share to these men from my experiences before we leave Thailand or the Race what would that be???
Click the link below for Part 2
Raising the Bar Part 2 ( Manistry Month, Thailand)
